Luis1p Wrote:

Eroncourt, Jôviant
2nd July, 4436


Minister of Defense Iztapalata to lead Lourennais peace delegation to Kalistan

Minister of Defense Pascal Iztapalata (below)


Recently, Kalistan has elected Al-Khali to the Kalistani presidency after tge shocking legislative defeat of the Socialist Party nearly three years ago. The newly elected president has stated that he would like to finally accomplish peace with Lourenne after the years of tensions that both countries have faced. His words did not fall on deaf ears. Immediately after hearing this news the Minister of Defense Iztapalata, a Orinco-Canrillaise native, decided that he will finally go to Kalistan and end the tensions once and for all. Minister Iztapalata stated that :

Quote: it's about time to finally reach peace with Kalistan. Enough is enough. We can no longer sit in a dark age and yell at  each other every time one of us breathes. I believe it's tome to revitalise the Anantonese and get some **** done together.

Minister Iztapalata has stated that he will travel to Kaliburg for hopefully a final peace conference along with the Mayor of Valois Joan De Masson and Minister of Trade and Industry, Séverine Delaune. The delegation has been specifically picked by the Ministry Defense as they believe that Lourenne will be well represented by wach delegate. Joan de Masson, the Mayor of Valois, will be representing peace at the conference. As mayor of Lourenne's largest city, de Masson has had a neutral stand point to many of Lourenne's involvement in any wars and declares that Valois is a city were peace prospers and anyone can reside in. The Minister of Trade and Industry Séverine Delaune will be representing economics at the conference. If talks go absolutely well between Kalistan and Lourenne, Madame Delaune will not hesitate to negotiate economic deals and investments with the Kalistanis. Minister Iztapalata has stated tha  the Lourennais delegation will go to Kaliburg in October of 4436 and will be protected by the Royal Navy in the Anantonese while on their way. Lourenne will have officials representing peace, economics, and defense in Kaliburg at the upcoming meeting. They hope that Kalistan will do the same.

More to come

Quote:"We have been cursed, for some ridiculous reason, with Parties who pop up out of nowhere, drop massive omnibus bills on the Assembly which we are forced to vote on, and which will lead to destabilization of our Political positions, and then vaporize.  This has happened several times in the past few years, and add to that Parties inexplicably appearing out of nowhere, taking over the Government, and then doing nothing with it for a term before they vaporize into thin air, never to be seen or heard from again.  It is happening far too often for us to think it is a random event-  Two dots make a line and three dots make a plane.    We now have a very clear picture of what is happening in Kalistan:  I believe that it is the efforts of foreign Agents who are invading our country, whipping up a small segment of the population, and aiming to completely destabilize the country in favor of a Rightist Agenda which is antithetical to what Kalistan stands for.  We don't have to put up with that, so we aren't going to."

Quote:"Of course, we will return to a fully functioning democratic state when this problem of foreign destabilization has passed," the Premier said of the accusations of the creation of a Dictatorship.  "But the Good of Kalistan comes first, and until these tiny Rightist factions realize that Kalistan is hostile to that sort of behavior, things will unfortunately remain as they soon will be.  One-Plus Party rule in Kalistan is a necessity right now.  It won't always be, but as the only Institutionalist Party in Kalistan which is swarming with know-nothings and market fetishists, we have to look to the Good, rather than to the popular.  If that makes me a dictator, then that makes me a dictator."

Quote:"First of all, there is a general Will that Rightism is bad for the country.  We earned nearly 75% of all seats in the Assembly in the last election and the President earned nearly 80% of the votes of all people in Kalistan.  We ran on an open and forthcoming Leftist Agenda.  And just because we will not soon be voted out of office, this does not mean that we will not be accountable to the people.  The Socialist Party is accountable on many levels.  As for liberal democracy:  it seems to regularly produce terrible outcomes, like the fluke 'Clerical Election of 4433' far more often than good ones.  Demagogues take advantage of people using Democracy.  Its time that Kalistan focused on Good Government, rather than just popular government."

President Abdulaziz Al-Khali Wrote:Dear Editor,

You all are smart down there at The Republic.  Perhaps you can tell me:  Why must they constantly antagonize us?  By us, I mean, Kalistan.  By They, I mean the bat-s--t crazy idiots who plan Northern Council mock wars.  Don't they know that we are trying to conduct peace talks with one of their members, and are a news article in the International Press away from pulling our negotiators out of that room and calling it a day till Lourenne can straighten those morons out?  Do you think that they aren't aware that when one of their member nations, the arch-imperialists Kazulia does crazy sh-t like acquiring a new missile, that makes US want to do crazy sh-t like acquire new missiles?  Don't they know that their constant demonstrations of military d--kmeasuring puts countries like Kalistan on edge, and when we get on edge, we do our own crazy sh-t like invite Vanuku to sell us weaponry and base their ships in our Naval Bases?

How can they not see this, that their marauding around the globe puts anyone who ain't in their glorified street gang on high alert?  Or are they just too god damned dense?  Or maybe, could it be that they just don't give a f--k what other countries think:  They're going to do what they want and pretend that they are the only powers in the world who can do whatever they like?  I don't know...

Look:  Here's what we're going to do.  Its a multi step plan, and so I hope they can get their limited vision down to the bottom of the list, so they know that Kalistan ain't f--king around.

First off:  We AIN'T going to break off talks with Lourenne.  But we would like to ask that Queen they got over there to humbly get off her throne and screw the NC's head on straight.  We don't put no preconditions on this:  It's a simple request from one friend to another.  She tells us what we should be doing with our foreign policy, and we keep shut about it,  But we ain't telling her what to do.  We are simply asking her to use her power to put those upstarts she associates with in their proper place.  If she don't feel powerful enough to do so, no bother.  See, that's where plan B comes in.

We're going to follow our friends in Dankuk's example, and start talking to Vanuku again.  You heard it.  It's time to make up.  They want to balance the NC in this part of the world, we have no problem opening up the chess board for them to do so.  See:  We ain't playing chess.  We're playing Go.  And we're running a center strategy.  Our Joseki has not only divided the corners, but has given us two sides and the center.  Bringing in Vanuku is like a 3-3 invasion that the NC never saw coming, because see-  they under-estimated Kalistan.  We're talking not only airstrips, Vanuku.  We're also talking the CATC.  If you want put your fleet smack dab in the middle of the Anantonese Ocean, send someone to Kaliburg and we'll talk.

"But Khali, what about the NAM?" people will say.  "Ain't you just providing cover for a human rights violator?  Why don't you support peace and justice?"  Or some sh-t...  Look here:  The folks that were for all that liberal bullsh-t didn't even ratify the motherf--kin treaty. They pushed that language, and then cut out.  Sekowo and Selucia both.  So:  to hell with it. NAM is about sovereignty too, and if talking to Vanuku helps Kalistan defend itself against the constant and unnecessary provocations of that death cult [the Northern Council] then so be it.  And we'll do it even if 3 of the 4 founding members decided that they were too f--kin ----- to sign the damn treaty.  We got our NAM brothers' and sisters' back, even if they never get ours.

That's all.

Two steps.

We're waiting for an answer to all our questions.  Somehow, all we ever seem to read from the NC is propaganda designed to irritate.  So, maybe someone else has a clue.

Peace out.

With fondest regards,
Abdulaziz Al-Khali,
Socialist Party of Kalistan
President of the Republic

Luis1p Wrote:

Lac des Lumières, Jôviant14th December, 4437
Inside the Monarchy Edition

Queen Isabelle Responds to Kalistani Premier after "Northern Council" Antagonization

Queen Isabelle I responds to the comments of Kalistani Premier, Al-Khali.

Live from Lac des Lumières, I am David Sepelxa and This week on Inside the Monarchy, we listen to Queen Isabelle give her response to Premier Al-Khali after his comments on an "Antagonizing Northern Council" Are these signs of a frustrated country looking for power? Or does Al-Khali need to drop the potty mouth? Here are Queen Isabelle's comments to Kalistan!

Quote:I am not at all surprised by Kalistan. I do not understand how they see the Northern Council as "Antagonizing". First, the Northern Council are not imperialists. We seek peace, security, and prosperity in the Northern hemisphere. Something Kalistan should try and aim for.

Second, any nation has the right to conduct military exercises. The Northern Council held exercises in the Mad Dog Ocean near Keymon. This is nowhere near Kalistan nor were they mentioned at all. The NC did but antagonize Kalistan at all, but please may I bring the point up that Kalistan heldmilitary training and exercises with Lodamun in the Anantonese. Did Lourenne blade them for it? Did Kazulia do anything? Did the NC react? No. It's okay for Kalistan to have exercises but not the Northern Council? Completely and utterly ridiculous.

This makes us question Kalistan and our conference for. For my part, I do not want our peace negotiations to end at all, but with the way the Premier is acting, peace seems far away. To that attention, they have invited Vanuku back to Kalistan. I will tell you this, If Vanuku returns to Kalistan peace negotiations will almost certainly fail. We do not hold great relations with Vanuku and that will most likely not change. If Vanuku arrives on the shores of the Anantonese, we will have problems.

Speaking of which, It is rather confusing to see Kalistan supposedly neutral and "non-aligned" aligning with Vanuku. The hypocrisy of Kalistan roams in their own Foreign Policy. We simply do not understand. If Kalistan truly wants to see change and peace in the Anantonese, please control the Premier and live up to your own ideals of non-alignment and peace between Lourenne and Kalistan.

And that is all folks. Very intimidating and truthful response from her Majesty indeed. The question now is, Will Kalistan want peace? Or risk their own security by bringing in Vanuku to Kalistan? Until next time on Inside the Monarchy

More to come

Inside the Monarchy Edition

Quote:A(bdulaziz) A(l-Khali):  Maybe she wants to be the Queen of Kalistan too, I don't know...  I don't think I'd vote for her, seeing how she's a monarchist and all, but...

(IZQUIERDA's) S(amantha) B(onsal):  Ahem...  Comrade President, we're about to begin. 

AA:  Alright.

SB:  And 3, 2, ...  Hello Comrades.  I am here today with President of the Republic, Abdulaziz Al-Khali.  Welcome Comrade.

AA:  Thank you, Comrade.  It's a pleasure as always.

SB:  You've had some pretty choice words for the Northern Council recently.  You've re-established that they are a "Death Cult".  You've reaffirmed that they are imperialistic and expansionistic, and you've accurately described their penchant for antagonism of the world.  And yet we see countries in the Thrall of the Northern Alliance's hypnotism come to their defense again and again.  Dorvik for example...

AA:  Yeah, well, of course, them and others.  They justify their so-called peaceful nature by holding a 21 country military joint training exercise in the Mad Dog Ocean.  I mean, I can't even begin to tell you how many Kalistani ships have been, to date inconvenienced by their ridiculously vainglorious displays of pugilistic nihilism.

SB:  So, they have raised the matter of a possible alliance with Vanuku as invalidating the Non-Aligned Movement.

AA:  Yes, they have said so.  But that is their word, not mine.

SB:  Which word?

AA:  Alliance.  We don't have an alliance with Vanuku.  Even if they were to base their ships at the Bozo River, we would be strictly hosting them.  That's the same deal we offered Lourenne, by the way.  They would be covered by a SOFA agreement just like any country that used our facilities.  Does it mean we are joining an alliance?  I think not.  Does it means if we finally have peace with Lourenne, which Kalistan still wants despite their Queen lipping off about Kalistan yet again, does that mean that we invalidate the Non-Aligned Movement Treaty?  Anyone who bothers to read the Treaty will see it doesn't mean we don't have alliances.  It means we don't JOIN alliances.  Bilateral agreements for cooperation are explicitly excluded from from consideration under the Treaty.  So we can work with Lourenne and still explicitly oppose the Northern Council.  We can work with Vanuku and not be a part of the MUN alliance.  Our training with Lodamun falls under a centuries old cooperation agreement between our two nations.  I think the talking points of the Northern Council are a bit off, and betray a lack of literacy on the part of those who are offering comment.

SB:  What would Vanuku coming back to Kalistan even look like?

AA:  I don't know.  They haven't come back.  It's difficult to say.

SB:  The Northern Council has stated that if Kalistan talks with Vanuku, they won't let Lourenne make peace with Kalistan.  How does this bode for the current peace talks?

AA:  I don't know.  I mean, we're going to do everything we can to keep the talks going.  But you know, when I read the Lourennaise Paper the other day, it looks like the NC high command got to the Queen and made her say that stuff.  Lourenne knows that it has far more in common with Kalistan than it does with the imperialists in Kazulia and Hutori.  That fact and that fact alone is what brought them to Kaliburg in the first place.  Confidentially, I'm sure Lourenne saw peace with Kalistan as a way to begin breaking free of that thuggish extortion racket.  We were glad to help:  Anything to undermine the NC.  And Kalistan needs friends in the neighborhood now that Sekowo has gone dark.  Its a mutual benefit thing, you know.  So the Queen says these things to please her imperialist friends.  It probably shouldn't make any difference in the talks, unless of course, Kazulia and Hutori dictate foreign policy for Lourenne.  I don't think this is the case.  I believe the Queen will do what is right for Lourenne and for our region, even if it is wrong for the Northern Council.

SB:  So, why Vanuku?

AA:  Why not Vanuku?

SB:  Well, Kalistan is on record as being the first country to respond to Vanukean use of nuclear weaponry.

AA:  Yeah, well, that was a generation ago.  And besides:  We're in tit for tat mode with the NC, and Vanuku has always looked for opportunities to balance them.  Bennots is their Queen's Husband, so there's another reason.  They've sold us weapons in the past, and might be willing to do so again, so there's another reason.  They still have sizeable investments in Kalistan, so there's another reason.  But most importantly, and I don't pretend to understand it, but the mere word "Vanuku" seems to give them apoplexy.  You saw how quick the response was, from both Dorvik and Lourenne, a country who didn't even acknowledge that Kalistan was on the map two months ago and a country who is trying to conclude peace with us now.  "You better not," or "If you do, you're a hypocrite" was their response:  Nothing new, of course, and we're used to it.  I don't know.  It seems like we just have to say the word and they freak.

SB:  What of this charge of hypocrisy?

AA:  We don't care.  Our rule is, we follow the policy which is good for Kalistan.  So its not hypocrisy to object to military exercises which are aimed at sending every nation of the world a message, which is "Don't mess with the Northern Council."  We conduct military drills with Lodamun, and so what?  They're good for Kalistan.  Northern Council drills are not.  No hypocrisy there.  When Kazulia tests a new missile, that is bad for Kalistan.  When Kalistan buys a weapons system and tests it, see, that's good for Kalistan.  The ethic of Kalistan in foreign policy is to do what is in Kalistan's interest and strengthens Kalistani sovereignty and to look to Kalistan's interest before all others.  We are, I don't regret to say, a nationalist country.  It would be hypocritical therefore, for us to NOT conduct military exercises. 

I'll say this, and I hope my friends who have for one reason or another tied themselves to the Northern Council juggernaut can hear this, but we will work with ANYONE who will allow us to improve our position, but we owe no debts to anyone, nor do we take orders from anyone.  If you want to treat with us, then treat with us, but if anyone thinks that Kalistan will bow to any nation or any alliance or any regime that it is not in our interest to do so, they will be sadly mistaken.  This is the one thing our friends in Lourenne should understand.  We are happy to make peace with them, but we do so for Kalistan's benefit.  If they can understand this, they will never have a reason to fear us or to doubt our sincerity.  And there will be no impediment, of Kalistan's making whatsoever, that will give them reason to not trust us or work with us, or benefit from their relationship with us.  Northern Council be damned, Kalistan is an independent country, and we will not bow though a hundred new missile systems from Kazulia be invented and aimed at Kaliburg.

SB:  Those are mighty strong words, Comrade.

AA:  The history of the people of Kalistan is one of overcoming domination.  Ananto has been destroyed by Indrala and we've rebuilt and have become better.  We've had civil wars with fascists, and Kalistan has stood strong.  A neo-liberal collective security organization like the Northern Council is, well, they got cracks somewhere, and sometimes it takes a little country who isn't afraid of them to get in there.  Just like water gets into rocks and freezes and destroys the rock.  You know.  Its an appropriate metaphor.

SB:  Thank you, Comrade President.  That's what we have time for today.  If anything changes, of course, we will be back.

AA:  I'm sure you will. IZQUIERDA is a good magazine, and I'm always down to talk to you all.