Kalistani Major History

[Doc]

Al-Khali becomes Premier
Suldanor Newcomer brings fresh ideas to Government
Kaliburg, Ananto
June 12, 4425


Abdulaziz al-Khali, also known as Lord Pharoahe, is acclaimed Premier of the Republic

Fans know the new Premier of the Republic by his stage name, "Lord Pharoahe", but Socialists know him by a more famous name:  Al-Khali.  Descendant of one of the greatest Premiers in Kalistan's History, Abdulaziz al-Khali inherits a massive mantle being elected by acclaim to the Premiership. 

Al-Khali, aged 32, recently elected to fill a vacated Hosian seat in his home city of Sulari, looks to be a generational Premier. 

"None of this stepping down bullsh-t," said Al-Khali.  "The President and I disagree about the Prerogative.  If anyone is stepping down next time, its the President.  My goal is to lead Kalistan until I retire from politics and drop my 15th record."

Al-Khali has the swagger of his fore-bearer, and sees himself as a man of the people.

"Lotta people talkin about how I got the same name as the old Man.  Yeah, it opened some doors for me.  I can't deny it.  But I brought my name up in the 4400s through hard work and dope ass beats, lots of weed, and a bunch of sh-t about aliens, assassins and fat asses.  Forgive me:  I ain't supposed to cuss, but f--kin sh-t man.  The people are riding high.  And who better to lead this b--ch but the Pharoahe!"

Al-Khali's charisma and slack mouth disguise a formative intellectual chops.  Al-Khali holds a Ph.D in economic theory from Kaliburg Polytechnic, a MA in Linguistics from University of Suldanor, and an MA in International Relations from Doceus Rex University in Neveras.  "We are sitting on the cusp," Al-Khali said at his Valedictorian address at KPI six years ago.

"We have to ask ourselves:  do we just let the great powers of the world walk all over us, or do we stand up and metaphysically kick them in the junk?  I gotta say:  I know where I'm at on that question.  Junk-kickin time, you know what I'm saying?  But its better to die on your feet than live on your knees, and we, the educated of the world, you know, we don't have to take it.  We know better.  Let's make the world we want to live in, not the one where the powerful get to do as they please and the weak must accept what they must.  We know better:  We can do better.  We all got our Brother's Back, Let's Stand Together.  Dig?"

Before entering politics, Al-Khali, as Lord Pharoahe, went from writing term papers to starting a career in Hip-Hop.  He defended his dissertation, called "On the Economic Advancement of Small States:  Kalistan in the 4400s" the same week his second LP, titled "Deathmasque" hit Kalistani Stores.  Lyrically, Al-Khali raps about politics, outer space, the Occult, and the apparently endless supply of women who are constantly attempting to engage in intercourse with him.  Privately, though, Al-Khali is a dedicated family man.


Lord Pharoahe was performing on stage when he was informed that he had just been acclaimed Premier of the Republic

"They say rap about what you know.  What I know is 3am diaper changes, scrapped knees from falling off of bikes, and my bangin wife.  I know some other sh-t too, but my life is most definitely not what I sing about in my songs.  Nobody wants to hear about being from the mean streets of Downtown Sulari, where we have a good apartment in a highrise state run place.  I mean, I make music to make money and maybe educate people, but mostly cause I find making records f--king hilarious.  Like people love my records, and that blows my mind.  Nothing is more satisfying that to be driving down the road and hear your sh-t over the car stereo.  And you know what?  Everyone knows who I am and they are like 'Oh, this theorist, in one song he's talking about the intricacies of ethical socialism, and then in the next he's singing about having a threeway with a space alien and some girl from like Valruzia with big t----es, and then in this song over here, he's talking about all the pot he smokes, and then over on that track, he's preaching about how imperialism works and sh-t and how they want to control your mind. It's all basically the same song, really."

Al-Khali believes that he will be able to keep the two worlds separate.

"No, yeah, man.  On stage its the Pharoahe.  You know?  But off-stage, I'm a mild mannered secretly crypto white and sh-t.  Right?  No, I'm just playing-  Do I look white to you?  We got some big things ahead of us.  We already are talking to Sekowo and Selucia about the Non-Aligned Movement, which is for states that ain't sucking the imperialist d--k, you know what I mean?  They're good countries, and I think talking with them is a very positive step to building a lasting peaceful scene here in Kalistan.  The more small nations who come to work with us three founding countries, the more ideas we'll have and everything, and we'll get a treaty together that reflects the interests and the discussions among the founding members of the Pact.  We're also working on ODEN, getting that expanded, and keeping Lee at the World Congress.  The President and Tass and Hashimoto are back home now from Lourenne, having been basically abandoned as Lourenne went to war.  So we'll be talking about putting together some more diplomatic missions to countries which are a bit more interested in working with Kalistan."

As the interview ended, Al-Khali bid our reporters farewell, and then added,

"You better believe I'm playing the Jam next year.  Those motherf--kers ain't going to keep me out now!  And I ain't toning sh-t down for nothing."