Kalistani Major History

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ODEN-Kalistan's Georgia Tass Ain't Playing
Director of Drug Cartel announces plans for expansion into Lourenne
Kaliburg, Ananto
May 3, 4427


ODEN-Kalistan's new plan to supply Lourenne with hard drugs announced by Tass

"No, We have no problem selling drugs to the Lourennaise,"  said Georgia Tass, the long serving director of Kalistan's subsidiary branch of the Organization of Drug Exporting Nations.  "This is something that Lourennaise and Kalistanis can bond over:  Our mutual love and respect for hard drugs."

Whether the Government in Eroncourt wants it or not, ODEN will begin shipping "large amounts" of marijuana, cocaine, heroin and LSD and other drugs produced and exported by ODEN to Lourenne beginning in July of this year.  This is the word from the Director of ODEN Kalistan.  "Look:  They cannot buy cigarettes in Lourenne.  I understand.  The people are looking for an outlet from the oppressive nature of existence under an imperialist government.  We are in a great location to begin supplying that demand.  They want drugs, or soon will want drugs, and we got drugs. It's a match made in Xanadu."

The declaration came with an announcement of an across the board 75% cut in price for drugs to Lourenne's market specifically, while elsewhere, prices will increase slightly.  "The international price increase will only be felt by large importers, but smalltime guys will see a price increase of just 1 or 2 percent.  Naturally, this price increase will also not be felt in other ODEN countries where we do not compete with their local markets, but as the supply mechanisms are not yet in place, the price increases are a moot point in Telamon and Sekowo at any rate.  While ODEN sets up subsidiary branches, those countries will not experience any disruption in supply or price stability."

The goal, said Tass is to get Lourennaise citizens accustomed to cheap Kalistani Drugs.  "We read in their paper that Kalistan is opposed to trading with powerful nations.  This characterization of our foreign policy is used by Lourenne to justify a virtual embargo on air travel to Kalistan.  Well, I want to do my part, here at ODEN to show them just how open Kalistan is to trade, especially export of our beautiful National Product, to the fine people of the Canrillaise Federation.  I have seen the country.  It is very pretty.  I imagine it will be a lot prettier on 5 doses of L and a dubsack of Dah Delta's finest Herb.  I am just hoping that these drugs help the people appreciate peace and find joy in their oppressive ultra-capitalist grind."

One commodity Kalistan will not be exporting to Lourenne is tobacco.  "We keep our tobacco in Kalistan to supply the local demand and that's really it.  Tobacco sales in Lourenne are illegal, and while we don't necessarily care much for Lourennaise law, being Kalistani, we definitely want to observe this one, as it was the one thing protected, ridiculously by the Lourennaise Government, which prevented them from hosting the GanJam back in '23.  They must have a special affinity for tobacco prohibition, and so, we won't step on their wishes with regard to that substance.  Kalistanis will light a cigarette in honor of all the Lourennaise people who are not allowed to."

Tass reports that drug importers from Lourenne are already arriving in Kaliburg in anticipation of the incredibly inexpensive bonanza.  "It's true.  But we have also been getting smugglers from other places like New Endralon and over from Keymon, who want to get in on the cheap prices, so we have been requiring a Lourennaise Passport from importers.  If they are found without the proper papers, they must go through the normal process.  We welcome all Lourennaise to Kaliburg, and will send them home with as many kilograms as they care to buy."

Lourennaise discounts will not affect prices in Kalistan which are heavily subsidized by the Government.

The lower prices are expected to last indefinitely.