Kalistani Major History

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reprinted from
IZQUIERDA-  The Voice of the Kalistani Left

Al-Khali launches bid for Kalistani PresidencyControversial Prime Minister declares "Time to sh-t or get off the Pot."
Kaliburg, Ananto
November 12, 4435


Former Premier of the Republic and notorious cussword artist Abdulaziz Al-Khali is nominated by the Socialist Party

With no charges forthcoming from the Justice Ministry in more than 3 years of house arrest, former Premier of the Republic Abdulaziz Al-Khali declared his intention to run for President of the Republic.

"Yall mother f--kers thought you seen the last of Al-Khali!" the controversial Socialist politician said in Kaliburg last week as he began addressing the SP's annual convention.  "Those d--kbrains who forced me to resign got another thing coming.  Say it with me now:  no charges filed and statute of limitations expired!  Now its time to sh-t or get off the pot:  I'm running for President!"  With that, Al-Khali nominated himself to become the Party's candidate for President.

Party leader Maria Reina-Rodriguez spoke against Al-Khali's nomination. "The Premier embarrassed the Party something fierce.  And had we not been kicked out of Government, the Justice Ministry would certainly have filed charges against the Premier.  It would be a mistake of marginal significance to nominate him to become President of the Republic." 

But Al-Khali's primary supporter, veteran politician and former President of the Republic, Blythe Bennots, who left office in 4417, declared that Al-Khali would be the best man for the job.  "Kalistan needs strong leadership at this time, because we are in danger of slipping back into oblivion.  Al-Khali is probably the most highly qualified individual in Kalistan to take on the role of Head of State, and name recognition is through the roof."

Al-Khali for his part said he would represent the Republic with dignity.  "Look:  You all know I talk a lot of sh-t.  But when I was Premier, the sky was the limit.  I won't bring disgrace to the Republic.  Come to think of it, I didn't bring disgrace to the Republic before.  Let's keep up the policies of the good years, and move forward."

Al-Khali was nominated by a vote of 385 to 115, with Party Leader Reina ultimately voting for the old Premier.  Al-Khali will contest in next March's elections and will likely run against two competitors.  "Look:  who ever endorses me, I'll form a coalition with them.  Those snakes the NLA have deactivated, so we start with a clean slate."