Kalistan

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Coffee or Tea: Kalistanis weigh in
Coffee is the nearly universal choice for discerning drinkers
Port Swedes, Duchy of Vrassa
April 4, 5692


Boutique Coffee shops like the Swedeport Coffee Company in Port Swedes are a ubiquitous sight across Anantonese Region

Recently, a feature article in the Egelian newspaper El Tiempo (or The Times) discussed the rise of Tea Culture in Ciudad Yadraz. The article described the rise of tea culture in and around the city which was making inroads in the Northern Kingdom and defining a new current in Egelian society. The thesis of the article is summarized here: "Tea promotes the opposite: calmness, precision, and ultimate satisfaction--including the body, mind, and soul. Egelians crave this detail of tea: sophistication, purpose, peace."

So La Moda, inspired by the Egelian story, decided do a study of our own. We sent 25 staffers around the Empire to see whether or not there is a similar interest in tea here in Kalistan. Not at all surprisingly, when our staff returned, they reported that not only is coffee still preferred by the vast majority of Kalistanis as their hot beverage of choice, there is a whole connoisseur culture around coffee similar to the one we are seeing develop in Egelion. While most coffee drinkers just want coffee that tastes good to them, and will go out of their way to find it, this drink that we Kalistanis, on average will consume at a rate of a gallon and a half a week, and which most of us take for granted, is also obsessed over by a bunch of ritualists who one may refer to as a "coffee snob".

We all know people like this, and the ubiquity of the "coffee snob" is as complete as the ubiquity of the Coffee House. Among this lot, there is a heavy obsession with details in the coffee culture, including in what beans are used, where they are sourced from, how they are brewed, with what implements are they brewed, how long are the beans roasted, how are they ground (there is an insane battle between hand grind and machine grind camps which sparks genuine arguments) how finely are they ground, how hot should the water be. etc. It's wild and its bizarre when you really think of it, and this is probably why few of us think of it. And it goes to show, that for every tea tipping nation, there is a wild rowdy and fun loving coffee guzzling nation right next to it.

Coffee Shops and Coffee Houses
Nearly every city over a population of 10,000 has multiple locally owned coffee shops in them. These shops are frequently opened in the earliest hours of the day, essentially keeping bakers hours; they usually consist of a counter with stools at it and just a few tables and can seat perhaps 20 patrons at a time. Many open at 4 am to cater to those going to work. At these shops, baked goods and sweet breads are often sold along with the coffee to provide a jump start to the day. At the coffee shop, it is highly unlikely that you will ever see a cup of coffee sold for more than 50 cents or a doughnut for more than 25 cents. Usually workers have their favorite shops that they frequent daily as they are going into work, and the staff and customers often get to know each other very well from repeat interaction. The end of the day crowd usually features repeat visits from the morning clientele who are on their way home. Coffee shops are ubiquitous, all over the nation and are often tied with automobile recharging stations.

This shop is a significantly different environment from the Port Swedes style of Coffee House, which is a whole cultural institution unto itself. The Coffee House is extremely prevalent across coastal Vrassa and Ananto, and has also fully colonized northern Suldanor. Places like Port Swedes, Addisjah, Senvias and Eshar, Kaliburg, Dulnerstad, Eveari and Dana have dozens of coffee houses for coffee connoisseurs to choose from. Most serve Gaduri blends, which is widely considered in Kalistan to be the far superior blend, and a cup of coffee at the Coffee House will often run a drinker between 3 and 4 Imperial per 6 ounces.

The base of coffee options in the Coffee House is a very strong espresso, made from specifically handled beans that have been meticulously roasted by Gaduri artisans and sent to Kalistan. People will swear by this brand or that brand, and insist that there is a specific way to roast them to bring out certain flavors which they desire in their drink. Non-connoisseurs don't necessarily get so touchy about their drink, because they will more value the lift in spirit and energy provided by the drink. For a non-coffee drinker, the coffee tastes quite bitter and overwhelming, which is one of the reasons why visitors to Kalistan tend to prefer spirits to coffee. But if you are one of these people who takes your coffee seriously, you will never be caught dead in an independent coffee shop. You will have your own coffee house, and likely will pay to reserve your own table at the coffee house, so you can enjoy your favorite drink in peace and quiet.

Like the coffee shops, coffee houses tend to unite communities: the people who select a specific coffee house tend to like the same thing, and the menu caters to that thing. If you want something else, there is a coffee house usually not far away which will get you that thing. Some coffee houses specialize in just espresso, while others will create blended or frozen concoctions that utilize espresso as a base. Some specialize in lattes, while others strictly forbid milk or dairy to be added to the drink. Some are vegan, some will add cocoa and create a mocha, while others will whip up the latte into a foam. At any rate, the staff of these coffee houses, referred to as baristas, also serve frequently to provide advice, as conduits of gossip, and occasionally counsellors.

Both the standard coffee shop and the very specialized coffee house serve a thirsty client base and each client base forms something like a community or a club within that environment. This is not to say that people may only frequent their own particular coffee shop or coffee house, or that everyone even has one. Tens of millions of coffee drinkers in Kalistan just go to whatever one is handy. But for those who do, the choice of coffee shop is as socially consequential as the choice of a neighborhood pub, and they serve many of the same functions.

The Coffee Drinker
Almost everyone over the age of 16 in Kalistan drinks coffee by the barrel full. Coffee outsells soda pop, even caffeinated brands in Kalistan by a 3 to 1 margin. It is one of the main imports from Gaduridos: Kalistan imports ₭1.2 Billion Imperial Rubles of coffee each year, with about 85% of that coming from Gaduridos alone. So it is safe to say that the demographic breakdown of the Kalistani coffee drinker falls along the lines of the Empire overall. Most people will take their first cups of coffee in the morning by the age of 13 and coffee for brewing at home is considered a staple item in any shopping cart. Additionally, guests are almost always offered a cup of coffee when they arrive. Refusing to accept is not considered rude, but refusing to offer one tends to be considered a sign of hostility or unwelcomness.

The relaxed environment of the Cascade Coffee House in Kaliburg is just one of many varieties of experience you can have in a Port Swedes Style Coffee House in Kalistan

When alcohol is not socially acceptable, coffee is used. Many times people will keep a thermos of coffee near them during the work day, and most jobs have coffee breaks including during the daily schedule to allow people to caffeinate several times a day. Those with health issues related to constant ingestion of the simulant may opt for decaffeinated brands of coffee. Stopping at the coffee shop is usually considered part of the beginning of the workday for millions, while going to a coffee house regardless of class, is often considered a social activity. Many dates between young lovers have occurred at an upscale coffee shop. It is the place to meet friends when alcohol is not wanted.

The Coffee houses most often cater to young professionals during the day. These are places that frequently feature live music in the evenings, and so they are community gathering spots that are alternatives to bars. The ambiance in most coffee houses is what some would refer to as yuppieish, and so you don't tend to find a lot of hard rock, punk, or RF playing in a coffee house. Instead you are far more likely to hear acoustic and folk, and what some would refer to as "world music" usually performed by foreign artists. Some people here may be having an elevated conversation about world affairs, others may be discussing romantic interests there, others may be working on a laptop with headphones over here, others may be playing cards at a table. It all depends on when you go in, and who happens to be out that night.

Due to the ready supply from Gaduridos, coffee is extremely inexpensive in Kalistan, which contributes to much of its popularity. When people pay more for it in a Coffee House, they are paying more for the artistry of the preparer, rather than the coffee itself. There is nothing so rare that it should ever cost, on its own, more than a half a ruble for a full 8 ounces, and buying in large quantities tends to bring the prices to the consumer down much further. But you pay in the Coffee House for a cup of espresso, which is meant to be savored and enjoyed as an experience unto itself. Dark, unsweetened chocolate is often sold with espresso, and that significantly adds to the price of a Coffee House experience, because Gaduri chocolate is considered a luxury item in Kalistan.


But what about tea?
Tea is consumed in Kalistan, but not ritualistically, and certainly not ubiquitously. In fact, since the rise of House Ananto, tea consumption has been on the steady decline in Kalistan, but not for the reasons one may think. In Kalistan, besides individuals who prefer tea to coffee for reasons of taste or heritage (them being recent arrivals from tea drinking nations) most teas are associated with herbal and holistic medicine rather than as a recreational beverage. There is no equivalent social pull for tea that there is for coffee: there is no "tea culture" you might say in Kalistan.

It wasn't always like this, of course. At some point, there was a strong push to get Kalistan to begin drinking tea, and that movement began to more or less fade right around the foundation of the Empire. The only real remnants of the ritualized service of tea, akin to what Egelion is experiencing now, is in the institution known as the Informal Audience, held by and for the Monarch. The Informal Audience is a peculiar ceremony in which individuals gather to hold a candid discussion on a matter that touches the monarchy and the government of Kalistan. During this audience, people may direct questions and comments toward the Monarch, but remain socially separate because they are required to address the monarch in the third person. The monarch may however answer questions of this nature directly and the conversation may proceed once that measure of awkward construction is gotten over.

But the Informal Audience is always, as a matter of law, accompanied by a cup of tea. For generations the tea used by the Imperial House has been black tea flavored with bergamot, commonly known as Earl Gray Tea. This tea is a fairly common tea that is easily obtainable. But the tea served at an informal audience, since the day of Nicolette I Ananto, has always included opium stirred into the tea. It is rarely offered with milk or sugar, but it is always infused with opium. As part of the Informal audience, the Sovereign herself prepares the tea for the participants in the Informal Audience and presents it to them before the audience may begin. Any of the participants may opt to not drink the laced concoction, without running into any social improprieties whatsoever. But the tea must be served, and the Empress is usually expected to finish her cup, and offer to refill any cup that has gone empty, as part of the ritual.

This strange remnant of Kalistan's aborted tea culture is as imbued in Kalistan's monarchy as the name Ananto is, and will never be abandoned, though it has created generations of opium dependent Anantos. The Royal Family understands that this is a side effect of their job, but as evidenced by the back of a 1 Imperial Ruble Note, the Kalistani Opium poppy is a national symbol, and the use of opium in the Informal Tea is seen as ingesting that national symbol.

So tea consumption has for hundreds of years been associated with the Royal family. It doesn't carry with it the same cultural cache as coffee consumption does, especially the more social aspects of the practice. People still drink tea, and most herbal teas are prescribed to promote health and wellness, as medicine, but for the most part, most people in Kalistan do not opt for tea unless they are unwell: At that point you see your echinacea teas, and your mint teas, and your hibiscus teas, and your licorice root teas. There are dozens of options, and these are considered holistic medicine in Kalistan.

In conclusion
Kalistanis drink coffee. They plan out large parts of their day so they can drink coffee. But there is every bit of the deliberation and the ritual and the social aspect of the coffee culture in Kalistan that we see developing around tea in Egelion. It is certainly something to be proud of and to celebrate, on both sides of the Northern Anantonese. Perhaps someday we will see Egelian style tea houses appear in Vrassa and Ananto next to our coffee houses. At that point, we can be certain that Kalistanis will put every bit of energy into their favorite tea houses as they do into their current coffee houses, and will transform them from something that is peaceful, quiet and in the words of the article, zenlike, into something rowdy, vibrant, and full of conviviality.

For now, we say "Café, te amamos. Café, ¡Viva!"

@LaModa