Kalistani Major History

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Editorial:
Why must they constantly antagonize Kalistan?
Kalistani President responds to NC Wargames in the Mad Dog
Kaliburg, Ananto
November 23, 4437


President of the Republic Abdulaziz Al-Khali breaks his silence in response to NC joint operations

This week, the President of the Republic wrote The Kalistani Republic a Letter to the Editor.  Due to its length, and tone, we decided to promote it to a feature column.  This is the President's Letter.  It has been slightly edited for content. -KR

Dear Editor,

You all are smart down there at The Republic.  Perhaps you can tell me:  Why must they constantly antagonize us?  By us, I mean, Kalistan.  By They, I mean the bat-s--t crazy idiots who plan Northern Council mock wars.  Don't they know that we are trying to conduct peace talks with one of their members, and are a news article in the International Press away from pulling our negotiators out of that room and calling it a day till Lourenne can straighten those morons out?  Do you think that they aren't aware that when one of their member nations, the arch-imperialists Kazulia does crazy sh-t like acquiring a new missile, that makes US want to do crazy sh-t like acquire new missiles?  Don't they know that their constant demonstrations of military d--kmeasuring puts countries like Kalistan on edge, and when we get on edge, we do our own crazy sh-t like invite Vanuku to sell us weaponry and base their ships in our Naval Bases?

How can they not see this, that their marauding around the globe puts anyone who ain't in their glorified street gang on high alert?  Or are they just too god damned dense?  Or maybe, could it be that they just don't give a f--k what other countries think:  They're going to do what they want and pretend that they are the only powers in the world who can do whatever they like?  I don't know...

Look:  Here's what we're going to do.  Its a multi step plan, and so I hope they can get their limited vision down to the bottom of the list, so they know that Kalistan ain't f--king around.

First off:  We AIN'T going to break off talks with Lourenne.  But we would like to ask that Queen they got over there to humbly get off her throne and screw the NC's head on straight.  We don't put no preconditions on this:  It's a simple request from one friend to another.  She tells us what we should be doing with our foreign policy, and we keep shut about it,  But we ain't telling her what to do.  We are simply asking her to use her power to put those upstarts she associates with in their proper place.  If she don't feel powerful enough to do so, no bother.  See, that's where plan B comes in.

We're going to follow our friends in Dankuk's example, and start talking to Vanuku again.  You heard it.  It's time to make up.  They want to balance the NC in this part of the world, we have no problem opening up the chess board for them to do so.  See:  We ain't playing chess.  We're playing Go.  And we're running a center strategy.  Our Joseki has not only divided the corners, but has given us two sides and the center.  Bringing in Vanuku is like a 3-3 invasion that the NC never saw coming, because see-  they under-estimated Kalistan.  We're talking not only airstrips, Vanuku.  We're also talking the CATC.  If you want put your fleet smack dab in the middle of the Anantonese Ocean, send someone to Kaliburg and we'll talk.

"But Khali, what about the NAM?" people will say.  "Ain't you just providing cover for a human rights violator?  Why don't you support peace and justice?"  Or some sh-t...  Look here:  The folks that were for all that liberal bullsh-t didn't even ratify the motherf--kin treaty. They pushed that language, and then cut out.  Sekowo and Selucia both.  So:  to hell with it. NAM is about sovereignty too, and if talking to Vanuku helps Kalistan defend itself against the constant and unnecessary provocations of that death cult [the Northern Council] then so be it.  And we'll do it even if 3 of the 4 founding members decided that they were too f--kin ----- to sign the damn treaty.  We got our NAM brothers' and sisters' back, even if they never get ours.

That's all.

Two steps.

We're waiting for an answer to all our questions.  Somehow, all we ever seem to read from the NC is propaganda designed to irritate.  So, maybe someone else has a clue.

Peace out.

With fondest regards,
Abdulaziz Al-Khali,
Socialist Party of Kalistan
President of the Republic