Kalistan

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Sympaticos: Her Imperial Majesty's Cabinet of Weirdos
The new Infrastructure Minister is just the next in a long line of "strange" people to take important posts
Kaliburg, Grand Duchy of Ananto
February 15, 5695


The New Infrastructure Minister in what looks like a handmade ODEN Shirt at the Winter Gala

Op-Ed
Her Imperial Majesty, our Empress Carolina II Ananto has not yet be crowned in Kaliburg, and Nationalists are already on the back foot, as it appears that there is a full fledged revolution against the Institutional Establishment in her Government. Whether it be from the surprising election results that gave more than a dozen seats in the National Assembly to avowed socialists, of all people, to the promotion of the leader of the popular left in Kalistan, Mike Johnson, himself a socialist firebrand from Kaliburg to the Cabinet as Her Imperial Majesty's Minister of Infrastructure and Transport, there appears to be a full fledged revolt in the Empire of Ananto and Kalistan that will greet Her Imperial Majesty when she musters out of National Service this August.

And not surprisingly at all, the new Minister, who is himself quite odd in that setting, has found a very likely ally in Her Imperial Majesty's Foreign Minister, Sir Thomas Harney, who years ago, took to wearing tuxedoes even to informal occasions, and is almost always seen in public wearing one. He may think his look is distinctive, but it is hard to take a man seriously who overdresses in all occasions, and yet, Sir Thomas Harney, who is considered a pest to many in the Institutional Party establishment, retains the confidence of, at least, the Regent, who has stood by him and his eccentricities, even when, it was reported by a source close to the Government, that the Chancellor wanted him removed for general buffoonery.

The pair of weirdos, both placed in proxy by the Regent, have taken to going out in public, and we will say, in our opinion, embarrassing Her Imperial Majesty. Sure, the Chancellor has to tolerate these two choices of the Regent, acting in the Empress' name, but it is clear that neither believe in professional bearing. Sir Harney has been chronically overdressed for years, and approaches laughing stock status among the upper crust, while the new Minister of Infrastructure is chronically under dressed, preferring hand made tshirts made under the likely heavy influence of Dah or LSD, or probably both. When we finally see one of them properly attired, such as the Kaliburg Winter Gala late last month, a strictly black tie affair, the Infrastructure Minister was almost ejected, because security thought he was just some guy who wandered in off the street. But, on schedule, the Foreign Minister was able to rescue his colleague and Mr. Johnson was permitted to stay.

But more troubling to us here at The National is not so much their respectively clownish senses of style, but the divergence of their policy preferences from the Chancellor's. Lady Ericka Donahue is a committed Institutionalist, an outspoken anti-communist, and the epitome of a classical conservative. She has had her spats with Sir Harney in the past over his more centrist approach to foreign policy and his apparent predilection for hiring socialists to important positions, such as the Ambassadorship to Xsampa, apparently over the Chancellor's reservations. It has gotten so bad that many in the more nationalist circles are whispering that Sir Thomas is himself, shall we say, not unsympathetic to communism. And Mr. Johnson is himself an outright and open socialist and is already on record as being critical to the Chancellor's handing of rural matters.

Publicly, we know the Chancellor has to support the Regent's fiat as if it came from the Empress herself. Whether the Chancellor agrees or disagrees, Her Highness, the Princess Regent has publicly stated support for both men. We aren't saying here at The National that the Regent herself harbors socialist tendencies: That would probably be a crime if we did say that, but hiring these two obvious leftist agitators for these important positions seems to undermine the basic conservative orthodoxy which has governed Institutional politics since the last time we experimented with Democracy in Kalistan. If we didn't know better, we might say that the Regent is deliberately using her exit from office to make Her Imperial Majesty's life more difficult when she takes office. And that critique doesn't even touch their strange choices in fashion.

We think it would be responsible though to give Mr. Johnson a fighting chance at least. There could be alternative readings of this, each with a vanishing degree of likelihood that we should at least consider. We are certain that both of these two Ministers are annoyances to the Institutional Party Leadership. The Chancellor of the Empire performatively took a photo with the Infrastructure Minister last month where the look on her face pretty much says it all: "I have to be here, I have to look enthusiastic to have someone in this position. Why does it have to be this guy?" However, as risible as the idea is, perhaps they are both in their positions because they truly are more qualified than other potential candidates. That scenario is more believable for Minister Harney than it is for Mr. Johnson, whose experience is as a Deputy from Kaliburg, and otherwise a public member of the Kaliburg Socialist Club, where he built his constituent base. What does he know about transportation? Nobody is sure. He just happened to speak on the need for it in the newspaper recently.

Another scenario is that the Regent puts people into positions that she herself gets along with. The Chancellor is meant to advise the Empress, and no doubt the Lady did her job and advised against either of these two guys. But it would seem that Her Highness, who knows her tenure in office was only ever meant to be temporary, put two people who wouldn't make many changes, and who she gets along with in positions that opened up: people she herself could work with, regardless of how difficult it made life for the Chancellor. That possibility is likely, but the Regent is supposed to be governing in the stead of the Empress, not in her own name. So keeping her own friends to the positions seems to be a violation of that responsibility. Additionally, it is very hard to see the Regent as being sympathetic with socialism, even in her own right. Anantos are not, shall we say, world renowned for their love of the left. As all conservatives know, it is very hard to talk to leftists about anything, and here are these two with real power over policy. It is doubtful that Her Highness, the Princess Regent would deliberately empower not one but two Metzist sympathizers, especially over the objections that the Chancellor no doubt has raised.

The last, and this one is so far outside the realm of realistic probability, is that Her Imperial Majesty herself named at least Mr. Johnson to his post. But we could also say Mr. Harney too: He would not still be at the Foreign Office if Her Imperial Majesty wanted him gone. Her Imperial Majesty has notoriously stayed out of all politics since she was formally made Empress upon reaching her Majority almost four years ago. If she has a hand in any political decisions, it is entirely transparent from the viewpoint of our editorial staff room. The only reason why someone would even consider that Her Imperial Majesty herself supports the Tweedle Comrades is that they are in office and not out of office. And yet, it is possible that Her Imperial Majesty does indeed support them in their positions, to the degree that she is paying attention while living at high altitudes on Mt. Schmee. There is some indication that she at least offered nominal approval of the appointment of Ambassador Chase Lawford, though nothing specifically tied her to that decision.

What is far more likely is that Her Highness, the Princess Regent is watching the political winds and knows which way they are blowing, and that her time is almost up. She's concerned about her legacy- How History will write the story of her Regency. She was considered a neophyte when she took office, and had to work very hard to gain not only the loyalty of Institutionalists, many of whom thought someone other than Her Highness should have become the Regent, but the acquiescence of the Government. Her Highness had no stronger ally in that effort than Lady Ericka Donahue who stood by her side throughout the entire transition. But since then, it has been poke after poke, whether it is keeping Mr. Harney on, or forcing the Chancellor to introduce the Qualified Immunity bill which many orthodoxos, including the Chancellor found so offensive to civil liberties that they voted against it, to now naming a socialist to the Infrastructure Ministry. Lady Donahue takes her orders like a good foot soldier, but the legacy of Her Highness' Regency will probably be remembered as one of appearing to make changes without making any changes at all.

At any rate, the real test of the theoretical explanation will come in September when Her Imperial Majesty is crowned. It is highly likely--In fact, this magazine's editorial board have all placed a bet on the matter-- that many of the Regent's more questionable policy decisions will be overridden when Her Imperial Majesty is crowned. We are so confident in fact, that The National's Editorial Board have put their entire annual bonuses on the question: We believe that Her Imperial Majesty, after she is crowned, will quietly repudiate the Regent's more questionable choices and reassert the orthodox positions held by Institutional Establishment. Mr. Johnson and probably Sir Thomas will be ousted by December and the Chancellor will be finally provided a Government she can use again to carry out the Imperial Fiat. A special election could be called as early as October if this is going to happen, and in that case, we would expect the socialists to be ousted from their seats in the National Assembly.

We could be wrong, but we do not think we are. Meanwhile, the National Government is saddled with these two, shall we be charitable and call them "gentlemen"? These two Gentlemen had better start providing results that support the Chancellor and ultimately the Empress, or their days are as numbered as the Regent's. And in this instance, like the Regent, when they are relieved of their duties, all Kalistanis will politely thank them for their service, and wish them well in their future endeavors.

@TheNational