Kalistan

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Kalistani News in Brief: Peso Adoption Behind Schedule;
Kalistan voted "Most Photogenic Nation"; Thomas Jones' "Modern Art" Shakes up Album Charts
Kaliburg, Grand Duchy of Ananto
April 17, 5710


Thomas Jones' Modern Art reaches into Top 10

Peso Adoption Behind Schedule
The rate of adoption of the Imperial Peso is falling behind schedule, according to Her Imperial Majesty's Finance Minister, Dr. Roger Berry. "We are six months into the Peso Regime, and about a third of all outstanding Imperial Rubles have been exchanged for new Pesos. We are at about 85% where we thought we would be on Ruble collections and fully encourage holders of Rubles, especially businesses, to bring them to your local Imperial Bank Branch, not to the Cambio, and exchange them as soon as possible."

The Finance Minister said that the 1:1 rate that the Central Bank is offering will end at the beginning of September of this year, and after that, either the National Assembly will need to extend the deadline for exchange or exchange will have to happen at the Cambio. "According to the law, the Ruble will no longer have the backing of the National Government after September 1, and will be technically worthless. All National Bank accounts have already been converted and can only be accessed in Pesos, but the biggest problem is that businesses still accept Rubles and foreigners still hold Rubles. And those will go away completely, and then the only thing holders will get for them will whatever they can get from the Cambios. It is doubtful that the National Assembly will extend the deadline, because dual currencies tend to undermine one another. So we need to get those Rubles in and exchanged for Pesos as soon as possible."

The Foreign Minister predicted that the Peso will already receive a significantly higher valuation than the Ruble, just based on where the exchange program is expected to end based on current adoption. "If the trend holds, the Peso will come in at about 4:5 against the Ruble. This will make Kalistani goods far more attractive to Kalistani and foreign consumers but will put a lot of downward pressure on imports. Consequently we will probably see a drop in supply, especially in cheaper consumer goods that are made overseas. Great for Kalistani products, but in order to keep our larger stores fully stocked, those imports are important, and so we will likely see some supply side dislocation as a result of this change. It can't be helped, really: foreigners simply do not want to bring in their Rubles, and at this rate, between 10 and 20% of them will simply end up being written off."

Kalistan voted "Most Photogenic Nation"
In the international news and fashion journal Les Temps Internationaux, Kalistan was voted by wide margins to be the "Most Photogenic Nation." The Canrille language periodical conducted their readers poll between August and December of 5709, and Kalistan earned 42% of all votes, beating out more than 80 other nations. Readers cited Kalistani monarchs, actors and actresses, musicians, sports figures, and models as justification for their decision.

"J'ai grandi avec un calendrier de maillots de bain d'Alice Björksdattir accroché au mur," said reader Michel du Blanc. "Et Kalistan compte 90 millions d'Alice Björksdattirs: il y en a pour tous les goûts." Another reader complimented the remarkably good looking public officials in Kalistan: "L'impératrice est si belle, le chancelier si charmant. C'est toujours un plaisir de lire les journaux de ce pays, ne serait-ce que pour les photos des personnes qui le gouvernent."

Readers also opined on what contributed to Kalistan's photofriendliness: Some put it on good diet, many attributed it to the emphasis on easy access to the Ocean and the beach and to nature, some contribute it to a healthy and clean environment. "It could be also, that Kalistan just possesses good photographers that always seem to capture Kalistanis in their best light, who have mastered angles and retouching," said editor Margeaux Chevallier. "Kalistani photographers, the men and women behind the cameras, likely play the most important role in presenting Kalistan to the world as the prettiest, as the most masculine, as the more interesting set of people the world has ever seen. So we can also put at least some of the image that the rest of the world has of Kalistan down as very effective propaganda."

For Kalistanis, the result of the poll at least vindicates what they already know about themselves. "Yeah, its obvious," said Kalistani Jose Ramierez-Griffin of Sulari. "We're good looking people, and those who disagree are just haters."

Thomas Jones' "Modern Art" Shakes up Album Charts
Thomas Jones, the Kaliburg Art Rocker whose debut art-glam debut The Duke of Kaliburg hit number 1 had a lack-luster follow up titled Fiends which was largely derided by critics as "pretentious... inaccessible... super weird..." Fiends only reached number 48 on the Album poll and produced no Top 10 singles before it quietly fell off the charts last year. But it almost feels like Jones saved his best material for this year's very eclectic, but more glam rock oriented Modern Art.

"It's all about experimentation and you know, trying out different personnas," said Jones in the interview publicizing this record. "My goal as an artist is to keep people from ever feeling that they have the answer, you know? That they know the real me. I want them to always hear my work and you know, see my art and think, 'Huh, that's different from the last thing...' I want to inspire people to think and I would love them to really rock out, and also, you know, feel a little uneasy with the pedestrian-ness of daily life. Like just below the surface, something isn't right, none of this is really real. It's like a simulation, and I am simulating the simulation within the simulation."

This new album was released in March but on the strength of its initial single "You're Not Alone," it has already made its way into the top 10 on the Albums Chart, with "You're Not Alone" peaking at Number 7 on the KRTVN Radio 1 Top 40 weekly singles poll. This album features Jones at his glammy-campy best thus far in his career, and is also pretty apocalyptic, most explicitly demonstrated on the album opener "That's All We got." But it never fails, and is some of Jones' best music to date.

You can check out the Lead Single "You're Not Alone," below as well as the new Video for "That's All We got" from Modern Art by Thomas Jones. It is out on KMI and is in local stores across the Empire and the world.

[Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lJQf-gcG-g4]
"You're Not Alone", the recent Top 10 Single from Thomas Jones' Modern Art

[Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8gPSGrpIlkc]
"That's all We Got" the apocalyptic leaning Glam Rock album Opener from Thomas Jones

@TheRepublic