Kalistan

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Catching up with the Prince Consort
His Highness spills the Tea on being married to Empress
Nowagard, Republic of Valruzia
June 12, 5710


His Highness, Prince Elliot Rosenfeld with Her Imperial Majesty at Olympic Opening Ceremonies

His Highness, Prince Consort Elliot Rosenfeld, husband of Her Imperial Majesty Empress Carolina II Ananto, and father to three Minor Princelings, including the future Emperor, are in Valruzia currently for the International Olympic Games. La Moda reached out to House Ananto for an interview and we were initially turned down, with a very short message: "Her Imperial Majesty would like to focus on the Games and has preferred to keep her social schedule clear to spend time with Kalistani Athletes." We clarified that we wished to speak to the Prince Consort, and within moments, we received the message that the Prince Consort would definitely like to speak to our Olympic correspondent, Ms. Jenna Waters.

After the Opening Ceremonies, we sat down with His Highness to catch up with him.

(La Moda's) J(enna) W(aters): Hello Your Highness.

(His Highness, the Prince Consort) E(lliot) R(osenfeld): You can call me Elliot if you wish. We're not in Kalistan.

JW: I'd prefer to continue to call you Your Highness, I don't want to get my boss in trouble when this runs.

ER: Very well, as you please. It's just so weird sometimes.

JW: It makes sense. You are the father of the Future Emperor. You aren't a commoner. We're not the same.

ER: That may be the law, but I wasn't born a member of the Royal Family.

JW: That may be so, Your Highness, but you sleep a breath away from one of the most powerful absolute monarchs in the entire world.

ER: Well, she snores, so...

JW: Excuse me?

ER: What?

JW: Did you say Her Imperial Majesty... snores?

ER: Well, breathes loud. Sometimes there is some rattling there, but mostly it's just loud breathing. She sleeps very deeply, she has a clean conscience. She could sleep through a jet engine taking off next to her head, I think.

JW: Oh wow, Your Highness. That is unexpected. I wouldn't have dreamed of that.

ER: Oh the sheer amount of things people do not know about her would floor you. She's very pretty, and she's very collected, and in public she looks like a model, but I promise you, that woman is quite feral. She lost her parents when she was very young, and was raised by her Aunt, who had a completely different view than her parents and was kind of a hippy. Consequently, Carrie grew up without a lot of, shall we say, refinement. Yeah, in public she's this feminine, prim, almost prudish figure. At home, she wears a t-shirt and sweatpants and wrestles with the kids and drinks tons of coffee and eats mountains of spaghetti, and yeah, she sleeps very deep and, well maybe she snores a little. She'll kill me when she reads this. (laughs)

JW: Well, is there any other gossip the readers should know about Her Imperial Majesty?

ER: Oh... I better keep my mouth shut. She can be mighty frightening when she is angry, but luckily she has a sense of humor. I'll say this: She's probably more intelligent than anyone you've ever met.

JW: I was actually sent here to talk about you.

ER: Ok, let's do that too.

JW: Well, its been a while since we've heard from you. You've been keeping a low profile.

ER: I am usually pretty private, to be honest. I really prefer to let Carrie do the shining, and I like to stay behind the scenes without a bunch of cameras on me all the time. Being married to an Ananto is hard if you have an ego. The Empress is probably the closest thing that the world has to a living god: she lifts her finger and the lives of at least 97 million people are affected. It's pretty impossible to compete with that, so I think royal spouses just learn pretty quickly to not even try. As long as I don't do anything that will embarrass her, or House Ananto, I can literally do whatever I like. So I choose to use that sort of anonymity to do the things that make me happy and make me feel fulfilled. I was never so purely free of any sort of restraints as I am married to the Empress.

JW: And what are some of those things?

ER: I primarily get the opportunity to teach and play Go almost every day. Somedays I bring the little ones with me, and sometimes I just go myself. I'm a Go teacher and a professional coach in Kaliburg, and my students have gone on to win three National championships since moving to Kaliburg. I go hiking in the Zappas, and go kayaking in the upper Zappa River, which is just like rapids after rapids after waterfall, its pretty exciting. I sail, I get to speak to various interests who all want the ear of my wife. And I am active with the AYIC in Kaliburg- I help them with fundraising primarily. I keep pretty busy. I am proud to say that I have such full days but eat dinner with my family every single night.

JW: Do you and the Empress spend much time apart?

ER: Sometimes she has to go out of the country for a night or two, but when we are both home, we rarely spend more than a couple hours of time apart for anything. She wouldn't put up with that anyway.

JW: Do you and the Empress go out on the town often?

ER: Well, we'll make it to major events and we do enjoy going to the National Theater, but we're both homebodies for the most part. We are happiest at home, and I think she's probably my best friend. She laughs at my jokes and calls me handsome. And she's polite and kind and interesting and funny. Really what else could a man possibly want? Why would I want to be without her?

JW: Its quite refreshing to know that you two have found happiness with one another.

ER: We're very lucky, to be honest. And my parents just love her and the kids too. My mom always tells me, "Elliot, you got the better end of this deal..." Like I don't know that. We get to spend time with Lady Nicolette in Luxon and watch her surf-- She still surfs all the time in the summer, and she is still so awesome, the kids just love it.

JW: Does the Empress surf?

ER: (laughs) No... No she doesn't, not at all. She used to try but gave it up when she moved back to Kaliburg. She just never took to it, I suppose. She always says she's convinced she is going to drown, I think she's just afraid of the ocean... She doesn't even swim, which is weird for an Ananto. Lady Nicolette often asks if my wife is even related to her. I can't even get her to come sailing with me.

JW: Do the kids swim?

ER: Like fishes.

Kalistani Athletes, led by champion surfer Jamal Wade, enter the Stadium during the Grand Entry of the Olympics Opening Ceremony

JW: So the family is here to see the Olympics. Have you had the chance to meet with the Athletes?

ER: Yes, we met the Gymnastics team, and let's see, lots of others: Um, the Sufing team, definitely, the Judo team, both men and women's triathlon athletes, the cyclists, the gymnasts, the Beach Volleyball girls, and the Rugby team.

JW: Kalistan doesn't have a football team here this year?

ER They don't play football at the Olympics. Just soccer. If they actually played Football, we'd have three teams here. But alas, the rest of the world calls soccer football for some reason, though it was the Luthorians who actually came up with the name soccer, before they changed it to football. Now they mock us for using their language when they decided to change it just to prove how different they were. I'm kidding of course. I understand why they call it football. It's just a thing. No, we don't have a soccer team at the Olympics. We're cheering for Lodamun.

JW: Do you have any preductions for the games?

ER: Outside of Surfing, which we think we will dominate at, we're just glad that Kalistanis get to compete. In honest competition, all of these athletes are just phenomenal. Their worst day is better than my best day at anything going on here. So it will be exciting just to watch.

JW: Do you think there will be any rivalry between Anantonese teams and MATO countries?

ER: No, this is neutral ground. All those politics are for other people. We're just hoping that Kalistanis win some.

JW: I imagine you and Her Imperial Majesty will still be proud if Kalistan wins.

ER: Seeing the Imperial Standard rise above all others, and hearing the Anthem playing will be phenomenal when it happens. But I think the Empress wants her athletes to just compete honorable, and let the best athletes prevail, regardless of their country. Its more important to compete and for Kalistanis to just do their best. The fact that we're here is already a win.

JW: Will you be spending anytime in Valruzia beside the Olympics?

ER: Well, we're officially on vacation throughout the entire event, but some of the time we will be staying at Kulka-Kozyra Palace further south. I think we are planning on inviting President Pawlik and her husband to stay with us for a few days: The President is such a close family friend, and its been a long time since the Empress and President Pawlik spent any time together.

JW: Will you all discuss the issues around the failed monarchical referendum?

ER: This is not a business vacation. So no, they likely won't talk about politics at all.

JW: I think they are signaling at you, Your Highness.

ER: Yeah, they are telling me that I am wanted. Now that the opening ceremonies are over its time to get the kids into bed. And then I think we'll watch a movie together before bed. Tomorrow is gonna be a big day.

JW: Alright. Thank you for speaking with me, Your Highness. I hope you get some sleep tonight.

ER: It was my pleasure. Knowing my wife, I am betting we probably won't. Luckily I got some sleep on the plane.

JW: Maybe Your Highness could invest in earplugs?

ER: Oh, haha, yeah, that too...

@LaModa