Kalistan

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Sir Thomas Harney announces Retirement
Departure of Veteran Foreign Minister "end of an Era"
Kaliburg, Grand Duchy of Ananto
July 6, 5720


FM Sir Thomas Harney, seen here with Dame Quella Jones being interviewed at his retirement party following his announcement

"I'm needed at home," said Sir Thomas Harney, Her Imperial Majesty's Foreign Minister as he announced that he was finally leaving his post after three and a half decades. "Obviously, my wife is utterly helpless without me and has asked that I tender my resignation. So as of Friday, I will be stepping down from my post at the Foreign Ministry and bidding public service adieu." (Dame Jones, 24 years Sir Harney's junior, later corrected the record, stating that Sir Harney was merely attempting to keep up appearances and had recently been diagnosed with hypertension and arrhythmia, and was ordered by his doctor to retire, an order Her Imperial Majesty had concurred with. Dame Jones added that she was currently taking classes in heart healthy nutrition to help Sir Harney live a healthy, long life. -ed.)

The Foreign Minister, who has been largely absent in Kalistani affairs over the last few years is said to be one of the last of the old batch who were promoted during the Regency. Harney has long been a very close ally of Her Imperial Majesty, Empress Carolina II Ananto, sharing many of her perspectives about international relations. In addition, though Harney was not well liked by former Chancellor Lady Erika Donahue for his moderate views and his personal eccentricities, he was kept in his office by Her Imperial Majesty who wanted him to remain her foreign minister. His schedule has slowed down since the mid 00's, which allowed him time to get married and enjoy some of his home life.

"It's my wife, see," he continued to insist in his comments. "She keeps me up all night--how can anyone sleep when she's laying next to a person? She wants me to do yoga with her. Can you believe that? Every day, and I tried it but I think my joints are too stiff to do much more than watch her. If I lived like this insane woman lives, I'd be jumping out of planes and mountain climbing and all sorts of wild extremist things. But yeah, I humor her. I'll try her ridiculous lean chicken diet if she insists. Bye bye mint lamb chops. Bye bye barbecue gyros. Bye bye all the pleasures in this life. Hello boredom--It's chicken rice and broccoli for me for now on. Look at me! Do you think I can afford to lose weight?" Thankfully, the Minister did not appear to offend Dame Jones, who was standing next to him on stage as he announced his retirement.

"We're soul mates. I don't know what he has to complain about," she said with a laugh later when asked if she looked forward to the Minister's retirement. "And no, its not chicken and rice. I have this whole meal plan made up. Tonight we're having lemon chicken orzo with vine ripened tomatoes. And, before he says anything, orzo is not rice. It's pasta. I just want him to be alive when I'm his age. So he's gonna get healthy."

There is no word on who will replace the Foreign Minister at his position, but there was a lot of speculation in the futures market. Today, in the Observers Market, contracts on a hardline conservative replacement for the Foreign Minister were selling for 72 cents. "At the end of an era, there is a lot of guess work," said Gregory Lefton, of the Sulari Bookmakers' Association. "But one thing is fairly sure, Her Imperial Majesty was really the only ally Harney had left because he was far more internationally minded than the rest of the Government, and it is very likely that the Nationalists will press the Empress hard for a more Nationalist Foreign Minister to replace Sir Harney." The money seemed to agree, as the contract was up three cents over yesterday's close.

Harney is the most recent departure from Her Imperial Majesty's government. "Her Ministers are super old," said Government columnist Jackie White, of the Republic. "Most of them have long passed retirement age, and it is time for some new blood. Her Imperial Majesty is not of the same mind as when she started her reign--she's moved to the right noticeably during her tenure, and will probably want people who more closely reflect her views. She still has at least 10 years left in her Reign before she is prepared to retire, so replacing them now would make sense so the Minor Crown Prince can decide what he wants to do when he enters office."

The Foreign Minister was preceded by the former defense minister, who was retired under questionable circumstances which is not fully understood, and the recently retired minister of Infrastructure and transportation, Mr. Michael Johnson, the only openly socialist member of the Government, who retired last spring and handed his work off to an interim Minister. Sir Harney will remain in Kaliburg with his wife, and is long expected to remain a fixture in Kaliburg society, where he and Dame Quella Jones are favorites of many, including Her Imperial Majesty. Despite her personal affection for the now former Foreign Minister, if and when Her Imperial Majesty selects his replacement, it will likely be a change in direction from his tenure in office. Sir Harney doesn't seem concerned. "That's someone else's job now. My new job, apparently, is to make my wife happy in as many ways as I can possibly imagine. I hope she appreciates that, even if I have to suffer from her ultra healthy cooking."

@TheRepublic