Valruzia

[Aethan]

The strange anti-LGBT crusade of a president who always travels with his "best friend"

December 5737

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Klemens Grech has been Chancellor-President of Valruzia for just over two years, and in that time he has managed two things simultaneously: to become the most socially conservative head of government this republic has seen since the fall of the Morawski regime, and to become the subject of the most persistent rumour in Nowogard's political circles since, well, the last Chancellor-President. But we will get to Rodrigo in a moment.

Since taking office in January 5735, the Grech government has moved with notable speed on what his inner circle describes as "restoring the natural civic order" – a phrase that, translated from the language of conservative Valruzianism into plain Valruzian, means undoing as much of Aleksandra Kos' social legacy as parliamentary arithmetic allows.

The non-binary gender recognition law, approved by the Kos government in 5725 after years of campaigning, is the primary target. The government has tabled a bill to repeal it entirely, arguing that the state "cannot be asked to legislate what it cannot define" – a formulation that Grech himself has used publicly on more than one occasion, and that his critics have noted is a rather elegant way of saying that the state simply prefers not to even try. The bill is currently making its way through the Sejm with the support of Forward Valruzia, whose leader Janusz Sroka has described it as "a matter of common sense, not simple ideology" – which is what people say when they do not want to accept that it is, in fact, their ideology.

The government has also announced a review of same-sex adoption regulations "as a matter of child welfare research", a framing that has convinced approximately nobody. KPW's Kaja Orlikowska described the review as "a solution in search of a problem, authored by people who have already decided what the solution is". Aleksandra Kos, now leading SW from opposition, has been characteristically direct: "There are children in this country with two mothers and two fathers who are loved, safe and flourishing. The government is not reviewing their welfare, but rather placing a target on them. There has been a longstanding consensus on this issue, and nobody has asked for this. So why is the government now so obsessed over it?". Grech has also signed an executive directive restricting public funding for LGBT awareness programmes in schools, describing them as "ideologically loaded content that does not belong in public education". The directive has been challenged in the Supreme Court of Valruzia by a coalition of civil society organizations, and a ruling is expected later this year. Next year's Valruzian annual Pride march has already announced massive protests ahead of the event in the country's largest cities, meanwhile the office of the Chancellor–President frames his actions as part of his coalition agreement with Forward Valruzia. "What did they expect from a conservative government?" asks a close government source. And we agree, All of these actions would be unremarkable, in the sense that conservative governments tend to do conservative things, were it not for one small detail that the residents of Nowogard's government quarter have been discussing rather more loudly than the Grech communications team would prefer.

His name? Rodrigo Altamirano. He is 36, originally from Gaduridos, trained as an architect, relocated to Valruzia in 5730. By all accounts charming, well-dressed, and the Chancellor-President's inseparable companion. He and Klemens Grech have been, by all public accounts, best friends since meeting at a conference in Nowogard in 5731. They have travelled together to Gaduridos, to Kalistan, to Luthori, to a private retreat in the Chynbergian mountains that the presidential office declined to describe in any detail. When Grech won the Valusian nomination in 5734 against then–Chancellor Aleksandra Kos, Altamirano was in the front row, and when he delivered his victory speech in December 5735 after his presidential election's win, Altamirano was standing just three people to his right.

And what happened when Grech moved into the official presidential residence in Nowogard in January 5735? Well, Mr. Altamirano moved in with him. The presidential office has explained this on several occasions. Mr. Altamirano is the Chancellor-President's personal guest, and he is helping oversee renovations to the east wing of the residence, he is in Valruzia on an extended professional visit... the explanations have been, shall we say, varied.

"I have known Klemens since before any of this" Altamirano told the one journalist who managed to get a question to him at a diplomatic reception in October. "We are very close friends, and I support him". He then walked away at a speed that suggested the conversation was over. 

The presidential office did not respond to our request for comment for this article. They rarely do, so we spent an afternoon in the Stare Miasto district of Nowogard asking people what they make of the situation, and the responses did not range much.

"This country" said one woman in her sixties "is simply constitutionally incapable of having a longlasting straight head of government, seems like". And she's kind of right. From the top-four longest-serving Valruzian heads of government – Szymon Nowik, Iwan Nowik, Krystian Barela and Aleksandra Kos – only Iwan Nowik was straight. The three others were pretty public with their sexuality, and we all remember the Barela-Gajda scandal.

"Look, I don't care who the man sleeps with" said one market vendor, 42. "I care that he's taking rights away from my daughter's friends. That's what matters. Voting has consequences, and for a country as supposedly progressive on LGBT issues as ours, such a movement is a step backwards, and truly a shame that I hope people remember when they go to vote next time"

"The friend thing is a bit too funny" said a university student who declined to give her name. "He literally lives there. In the palace. With him. And we're supposed to pretend that's a normal friendship arrangement. "It's just a very close friend" is what I tell my parents when they ask me about my girlfriend, and I'm only 19."

"I think it's very sad, honestly" said a retired teacher from Ruzia. "Not because of who he is. Because of what he's doing to people who are just like him. That's the part I find genuinely difficult to understand. What made him like that? Certainly not our society."

One man, early thirties, laughed when we raised the topic. "Can you imagine? Four LGBT heads of government – the user here counts as valid the unconfirmed rumors around former Chancellor–President Gawel Sandów – and then the fifth one is the one who tries to undo everything they built. And he brought his boyfriend to live in the palace!" He shook his head. "Valruzia, man. Only in Valruzia"

Rodrigo Altamirano's architecture firm has recently opened a Nowogard office, we note, and the renovations to the east wing of the presidential residence have been commissioned to them. As far as we know now, all three of Valruzia's Chancellor–Presidents have been or are – whether closeted or not – members of the LGBT community. Should it be made a constitutional requirement at this point?