Kalistan

[Doc]

"The Damndest Thing I ever Saw"
Diplomat Albert Betchel recounts harrowing trip to Likatonia
Kaliburg, Grand Duchy of Ananto
October 10, 5586


Albert Betchel, ViceMinister for Seleyan Affairs, on his trip "to" Likatonia

"It was the damnedest thing I ever saw," said Mr. Albert Betchel, who is Her Imperial Majesty's Number 2 Man at the Foreign Ministry, and was to serve as Her Imperial Majesty's personal envoy to Likatoia. "I was sent [to Likatonia], via Valruzia, I took a train to the border, presented myself to authorities, and was promptly refused entry. I presented my papers, and that seemed to make the border guards go crazy. I came under a flag of truce, alone, under orders to try to negotiate a settlement to the blockade issue in light of Likatonia's change of attitude toward Kundrati, and was most certainly refused."

Mr. Albert Betchel said he has never encountered such strange treatment of a foreign diplomat in all his decades of service to Her Imperial Majesty. "I have been to Baltusia. They were kinder to me. I have been to Mordusia, I was welcomed in Valruzia of all places. I had no problem at all in any of these places. Even if they were not at all interested in hearing what Her Imperial Majesty had to say, whether it be this Empress or the other one, whatever, they at least greeted me, shook my hand and sat down with me. This is perfectly bizarre."

Mr. Betchel said he was not sure whether messages had gotten crossed between the Likatonian Government and the border, or there was something a little more sinister going on. "It was hard to get a read on those people," said Betchel. "I'd say it was amateurish, but I have a feeling that the Likatonians are so hostile toward Ananto, just unmitigatedly hostile, that this was their chance to slight our Empress. I can't think of any other reason they wouldn't just sit down and speak with me."

Betchel said that things got a little heated between himself and one border guard who was part of the group that refused him entry. "They kept saying that I should return and tell Her Imperial Majesty that she needs to end the blockade before they would even consider speaking to me. I tried to explain to these rustics that this was what I was here to try to do, to find some way to accommodate their concerns. While they did communicate this over the phone to what I assume was their superiors, the answer apparently was emphatic: I was not to be granted entry to begin to negotiate a settlement until Her Imperial Majesty capitulated to their Government's demands first. And I don't know what the Likatonians think diplomacy is, but that doesn't seem very diplomatic, especially when I was there to find a way to give them exactly what they were asking me to do."

Asked if he was to return to Likatonia at a later date, he simply said "No. Her Imperial Majesty was clear about this. I will reserve comment on her reaction. It was not very becoming of a devout Brethren, and it would be ill advised for me to repeat any of it here." Asked how the matter will ever be settled, Betchell sighed. "I think she is prepared to embargo Likatonia forever at this point. I don't know what they could possibly do now to make up for this very serious breech in diplomatic norms. If she has her way, Likatonia would be starved out of existence. I don't think she will have her way, but we won't be returning to Likatonia on any account. A Likatonian envoy, if it made its way to Kaliburg would likely be received at least. After all... We aren't Likatonia."