Kalistan

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Albert Betchel vs. Likatonia
The Saga takes a new turn as Retired Diplomat Claps Back
Yoshimi, Duchy of Suldanor
June 8, 5594


Dr. Albert Betchel, now retired, wonders what Likatonia "is even talking about"

The name Albert Betchel is not a household name in Kalistan:  Dr. Betchel was a career foreign service agent who retired from the Foreign Ministry three years ago.  Before retiring, he had earned the job of Deputy Minister of Foreign Affairs for Northern Seleyan Affairs, which is the number 2 position there at the Foreign Ministry, and was part of the team that helped bring both Gaduridos and Lodamun into the Empire.  And yet, most people in Kalistan had never heard of him until eight years ago when he was dispatched to Likatonia to attempt to end an embargo and was denied entrance.

Now it seems, Dr. Betchel, who is retired and living in Yoshimi, Suldanor has taken it upon himself to respond to the two recent open letters from Likatonia that slander Her Imperial Majesty's Government, Kalistan and the Anantonese Empire, among others.  We have decided to print Mr. Betchel's letter publicly, as no comment about the affair was received from the Foreign Ministry.  Below is the full text of the Betchel Letter.

Dear Likatonia,

I write to you as a private citizen.  I want to make it clear that my opinion is my own.  It has not been vetted or dictated by the Foreign Ministry, or any current actively serving member of Her Imperial Majesty's Government.  

I feel I need to say this because my opinion of Likatonia's handling of Seleyan relations is very low.  As in, my opinion of Likatonia is that I feel it is a nation run by absolute lunatics.  And quite honestly, I am having a difficult time understanding what they are even talking about.

Let's look at the charges in their recent letters for a moment, while we review the history of how Likatonia went from being the nation that introduced our Former Emperor and Empress to one another, and without whom, Kalistan would not have our current Empress, to one that is calling our nation every name it is legal to print in their nation.  At one point, not too long ago, I will add, perhaps just 40 or so years ago, Likatonia and Kalistan were great friends.  We shared interests in common.  We called Likatonia a friendly nation.  And we worked closely with them on a number of projects, economic and security related.   I know.  I was on the Northern Seleyan Desk at the time.

The trouble with Likatonia began when they decided to embrace the Commonwealth with Luthori.  Likatonia did this of their own volition, this is true.  And at the time, Kalistan opposed the efforts of Luthori to expand politically, economically, and most importantly militarily into Seleya.  So, Likatonia decided to help them, a foreign expansionistic empire, rather than their neighbors in Seleya.  Kalistan's problem was never with Imperialism.  Kalistan's problem was with Artanians.  And I suggest Her Imperial Majesty would feel that way if it were any other Artanian power pushing into Seleya where they do not belong.

So:  Kalistan responded first by trying to build a northern Seleyan Confederation to specifically opposed those moves by Luthori.  Again-  Not Imperialism.  We are not opposed to imperialism or to imperial expansion.  We are opposed to Artanians doing that in Seleya.  Just so we are clear.    Likatonia was reportedly not interested in a Northern Seleyan Confederation, because SOMEONE was telling it to not join because the Northern Seleyan Confederation was supposedly just some vehicle to force Kalistani Expansion.  That was not true.  It was a vehicle to prevent Luthorian Expansion.  But see Likatonia was listening to someone who was poisoning it against its neighbors.

I know:  I am the one who took that call from the Likatonians.  I am the one who had to assure my counterparts there that the Conference on Northern Seleyan Unity was in fact just an effort to prevent Luthori from setting up shop in Seleya, and that all states present would get a veto over ANY proposal made by any state, including Kalistan--if they were so worried about Kalistan setting terms, they had the free power to simply veto anything and everything, and they should still be present at the conference so they could ensure that they had a voice in whatever came out of it.  I was only partially successful.  The Conference failed because those who should have taken a role to ensure that Kalistan was not the only speaker there were relatively mute.  So, rather than proving the rumor mongers who were poisoning people against the conference true, Kalistan ended the conference.  And Luthori welcomed Likatonia fully into their Commonwealth as a result.

To prevent FURTHER expansion, because we know that Luthori was not satisfied with JUST Likatonia and Mordusia, but also they wanted Lodamun, Baltusia, and Gaduridos, and were in the process of taking steps to bring those nations into their arrangement, Kalistan embargoed LUTHORI.  Not Likatonia.  Likatonia got hit with the embargo because they owed fealty to the target of the policy.  They didn't HAVE to stick with Luthori.  They chose to.  So, since the terms of the embargo were against Luthori, Likatonia got painted with that brush too.  If Likatonia was fully independent of Luthori, they would not have been been touched by the embargo whatsoever.  Case in point.  The Embargo did not affect Baltusia at all, because Baltusia does not have a subject relationship with Luthori the way Likatonia does.  I mean:  Read the Writ.  The ONLY reason Likatonia got hit by the embargo was because they chose to cling to the Artanian imperialists instead of actually being independent, the way they claim they are.

Fast forward a few years:  We negotiated with Luthori to end the embargo, which was correct because the embargo was put into place against them.  In exchange for us lifting the sanctions and agreeing to normalize relations with Luthori, they promised to stop going after additional Seleyan Nations.  The agreement let them keep their positions in Likatonia and Mordusia.  This was what Luthori wanted.  They agreed that they had no historic position in Gaduridos, which we also agreed with, and they themselves added, "But if Lodamun should decide to go to the commonwealth, so be it."  And we, I should say I, because I was on that team, said "And if Lodamun decides to come to the Empire, so be it, right?"  Fair is fair.  Lodamun made its decision a few years later. 

But anyway, Luthori KEPT Likatonia, and to Kalistan, that suggests that Luthori HAD Likatonia to keep.  Meanwhile, Likatonia to this day maintains that they are independent,  So.  I would suggest that perhaps Likatonia is talking to the wrong Empress when they tear ours down.  But we dropped the embargo against Luthori, which means that the embargo ended on Likatonian goods as well.  Because the Embargo was ALWAYS against Luthori and their supports in the Commonwealth.  It was not against Mordusia or Likatonia specifically.

A few years later, when Fascists took over and utterly poisoned our Empress' homeland with their filthy ideology and reign of death, who lines up to oppose them?  Interestingly, it was Kalistan that did that.  Luthori did it too.  Dundorf did it too.  Canrille did it too, the Dual Republic did it too.  Many of the region's and the world's powers opposed the fascism.  Nearly all those who lined up against Kundrati almost never follow Kalistan's lead on anything, and regularly oppose Kalistan's position.  And who was it that lined up to offer full throated endorsement of the Fascist Government in Kundrati?  Yes, it was Likatonia.  They not only endorsed the Fascists but also accepted nationalized property from them in the form of a pharmaceutical corporation that was nationalized, but also slave labor, if I am not mistaken.

Yes, that was Likatonia that did that.  They alone, as a matter of fact, signed a military defense agreement with Kundrati to help the fascists.  While the rest of the world, including Likatonia's neighbors in Seleya actively opposed the fascists, Likatonia was not only helping them, but decided to ally with them.

So:  Kalistan did what Kalistan did.  We raised another Embargo, this time it DID target Likatonia, because if you ally with fascists, you are a fascist.  We also embargoed Kundrati.  Likatonia didn't like that.  It thinks it ought to be able to do as it pleases without any consequences in this world.  But eventually, the embargo worked its work, and Likatonia publicly, at least, turned its back on the fascist regime there, broke the military alliance, returned its stolen property, and sent its slaves BACK to their homeland to be probably murdered by the mass homicidal regime in Kundrati.  In doing so, it satisfied Kalistan's terms, and we attempted to discuss with them the ways to lower the embargo, by ensuring that Likatonia was 1) really telling the truth about turning against Fascism (which we now know they were not), and 2) would be willing to work with us on a path to normalize our relations (which they would make sufficiently clear soon that they were not).

In the process of attempting to make this overture, I was sent via Valruzia, a neutral nation, to Likatonia.  These events are covered elsewhere.  Long story short:  They deported me back to Valruzia without so much as even talking with me.  Why?  Because they listened to Luthori, who told them that they ought to push for stronger concessions from the Empire and a full capitulation on all their demands before even beginning a conversation about that very topic.  And they took the advice, rather than acting like the Independent nation that they claim they are.  So sovereign that instead of doing what is in your own national interest, you would rather sink ANY chance for a conversation than go against your masters in a foreign land.

This my friends was a mere 8 years ago.  Has Likatonia now suddenly grown a spine where one has never existed before?  No, what they did instead was wait until we unilaterally dropped the embargo, because it wasn't worth our time or effort to maintain it, and then go BACK to Kundrati and publish reports about how everything is peaches and roses there in Kundrati, when the world KNOWS that slave labor is being worked to death in that nation.  They ran Fascist propaganda that covered for the fascist regime, and called us liars for contradicting that narrative.  And then, when we refused to take further steps to normalize relations, because why would anyone in their right mind normalize relations with fascist enablers, they went and RE-signed economic agreements with the Fascists.  I am not making this stuff up, and it is not classified.  Its all in the public record.

Which, regrettably is where we are today.  Why in the world would ANYone do business with Likatonia?  They are actively enabling the fascist state.  When Kalistan sells something to Likatonia, it goes RIGHT to Kundrati.  If Kalistan allowed our people to do tourism in Likatonia, that money goes RIGHT to Kundrati.  Working with Likatonia is doing business with Kundrati.  It would be insane for Kalistan to ever do anything with Likatonia, seeing as they are far more attracted to Artanian states than they are to Seleyan ones, and it would be insane for anyone who cares the slightest wit about Seleya to support that.

To their specific Charges:  Kalistan is an expansionistic empire.  We have never said otherwise.  It is true.  And yet we never wanted to add Likatonia to the Empire.  Why?  Because Likatonia was never historically a part of the Anantan Empire.  It was always a nation apart from what we were doing in North East Seleya, and has more in common with Valruzia than it does with Lodamun or Baltusia.

With regard to Athosia:  I am not sure what their government thinks Kalistan has "done" in Athosia, but there is no evidence that Kalistanis have set foot in Athosia for decades.  The border is 100% closed against anyone in Kalistan.  We have not travelled there.  We have not sold anything there.  We do, regrettably, NOT administer that territory.  It is still absolutely being governed locally, by people who are not from Kalistan.  But rest assured, Kalistan would like its property back.  Property that was stolen from our Empire as Seleya was being carved up by Majatran and Artanian foreginers, the same Artanians by the way who colonized Likatonia and stole that land from its own native inhabitants.  And if we get the opportunity to reclaim Athosia, Likatonia had better believe that Kalistan will take it.  In a heartbeat. 

Because Luthori may hold that Likatonia is independent, but Kalistan does not feel the same way about Athosia.  We hold that it is Kalistani territory that was unlawfully separated from Suladnor and it is therefore a historic wrong that needs undoing.  I cannot speak for Her Imperial Majesty, but if it were me, I would have invaded decades ago.  Centuries ago.  And if it were me, I would sacrifice ten Likatonias for one Athosia.  It's a good thing it is not me.

And why does Likatonia drag Gaduridos over Athosia?  Athosia isn't Gaduri business.  Or, for that matter, Likatonian business.  Likatonia has far larger problems, like its open and unapologetic support for a murderous regime in Kasaema, and the ethnic cleansing that is currently going on as part of National Policy that seeks to eradicate the individual identity of the Lurians, the people who have now raised two Kalistani Empresses.  Likatonia may be able to turn a blind eye to the suffering of the Lurrian people--Maybe that's just the kind of people the Likatonians are.  

But Her Imperial Majesty cannot:  Those are her relatives and childhood friends who are being erased from existence.  She has tried to help some of them escape, only to find out that they have been disappeared.  So many in fact that she no longer tries, because she feels it just puts a target on anyone's back who she tries to help.  She is lucky to be in Kalistan:  If not for the positive intervention of a wonderful Likatonian President, Mr. Daniel Greenshaw, she would likely already be dead in a mine or in a state brothel somewhere.

The Likatonians mention the Baltusian Government, to which we answer, what Baltusian Government?

The Likatonians, at least the Speaker from Progressiva, said they want to have a dialogue.  And yet:  they have never once sent a representative to Kaliburg to engage in a dialogue.  We would send an envoy but the last one we sent was very undiplomatically rejected.  That's like sending someone under a white flag to negotiate a truce, and the people they are going to speak with shooting at him as he attempts to cross the field.  So.  If an envoy from Clovisport were to ever somehow make it to Kaliburg, bearing diplomatic credentials, we would welcome that individual, and hear what they have to say, and carry their message to our Empress.  We would show them that courtesy.  Because we are not lunatics in Kalistan.

Before laying charges of violation of international law and human rights and justice and all this at our feet and calling my Government, the government I served for 50 years, "hypocrites", perhaps Likatonia might do better for itself to examine its own preferred policies.  Because it currently actively supports a government which creates laws specifically to fill prison camps with slave labor that it then exterminates through working them to death.  Likatonia supports them.  Not Kalistan.  Not the Anantonese Empire.  Not Her Imperial Majesty.  But:  Somehow I feel that Likatonia is going to continue to insist that it is sovereign instead, and will continue to goose step in time with the fascist drum, just to prove how sovereign they truly are.

Which is why we would rather deal with their Empress than them.

Peace to you Likatonia.

Serenely,


Dr. Albert Betchel,
Her Imperial Majesty's Deputy Minister of Foreign Affairs for Northern Seleyan Affairs, Retired
Private Citizen

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