Kalistani Major History

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Thrasher Releases Debut Album Burn Everything
Defiantly anti-Religious album terrifies moralists across the Republic
Sulari, Suldanor
April 7, 5064


Thrasher, the Speed Punk band from Sulari, after a session of C&C last fall

Notorious tabletop Roleplayers and demonic anti-Religious speedpunks Thrasher, for whom almost an entire genre is labeled, released their debut album this week. Fans went to stores and bought copies like hotcakes, while some moralist and parent groups called for the State to take a stronger stand on what they deemed to be "Offensive Lyrics".

"We have a Hosian Government in Kalistan," said Karen Andrews, who leads the hastily organized Parents Against Gratuity and Neophilia (or PAGN for short). "We expect our government to step in an force these demon worshippers to cease their corrosive influence on the good and clean morality of our society Our children should not have to listen to foul mouthed lyrics where they mock God, where they call religion 'ridiculous', where they play loud guitars and fast drums and where they get up to who knows what demonic rituals when they play their Catacombs and Cathulus games or whatever satanailic nonsense they play on the weekends. Our children need to hear ONLY the word of God, as taught by his ordained preachers, and nothing else. These evil men are SOCIALISTS!"

For the record PAGN represents more than 50 families, all of whom belong to ultra-Hosian churches in the Republic. All major Brethrenist Meetings in Kalistan, representing more than 86 Million Kalistanis, has distanced themselves from what they call "hate mongering and thoughpolicing" by the PAGN.


Thrasher's debut album, Burn Everything, on KMI, features art inspired by popular RPG Catacombs and Cathulus

Over sporadic protest, primarily in conservative Vrassa, KMI released Thrasher's Burn Everything, which is primarily a record of blistering guitar riffs, bombastic drums, and monster bass lines. Singer and bassist Thomas Menendez, from Sulari, sings songs often in the guise of a Satanalic alter-ego, describing soul reaving, evil and mockery of God and religion in general. "Well, to be honest," said Menendez, "I am a devout and practicing Aurorian, But my religious beliefs are my own, and I don't speak for anyone, or try to convert anyone. My beliefs aren't reflected in Thrasher's Music. Nor should they be: A special pit in Hell is reserved for those who force their religious views down other people's throats, or use their public position to legislate their morality into law." When asked about the obvious contradiction between the things he sings about and his professed adherence to religion, he says, "Hey, its rock and roll. Like if you are too stupid to know the difference between reality and the stupid sh-t they say in rock and roll songs, you really do deserve, like, demon possession, you know, because like being that stupid means you are already in a hell of sorts."

The controversial record, following on the heels of KMI's release of Alternica's Deth To All shot into the top 100 on the KRTVN's album charts. "We were like 'we hit 99 fellas!'" said Lead guitarist, the bestudded Cary Koenig. "so we decided to play some C&C and smoke some weed and celebrate." Koenig spoke about the importance of the popular roleplaying game to the band, "Like everything we know about Satanail we learned playing C&C. We've played together since we were kids. But then one day we were like, 'Bro, if we keep sitting in here playing this game, we're never gonna get any women.' so we made a band, and decided that whatever what going on, we were gonna do it harder, faster, louder, more brutally, more energetically. When we debuted at 99 it was like rolling a Nat 20!"

The four years of brutal shows in and around Sulari at first but more recently in the Kaliburg proving ground have now paid off as the second major Speed band begins its assent up the Hard Rock charts in Kalistan. The first single from the record and crowd favorite from live shows, the thrash Medley "Metal Typhoon/Face the Thrasher" is already playing on hard rock radio across the Republic.

[Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iI7ElD61o68]