Kalistani Major History

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Funk Concert celebrates New Empress
"Kalistani Music needs to be a little funkier!" says Jimmy Stein
Kaliburg, Ananto
February 20, 5198


The Stein Gang headline Kaliburg Funk Fest

Funk isn't often music that finds much airtime in the Capital these days. But the Accession of the new Empress is "as good of an excuse as any" to throw a Funk Festival on the National Mall, according to festival organizers.

"Kalistan is a little stale," said Stein Gang Lead Singer/Guitarist/Keyboardist Jimmy Stein, who headlined the newly christened Kaliburg Funk Fest. "We got a new Empress. It's time to get Funky!"

The festival aimed at raising the profile of the music form in the minds of residents of Kalistan. "We've been here a long time, Baby," said Dianne DuGard, of the funk trio Funk Ya Junk. "Funk was part of the RF scene way back at the beginning, and funk has formed the connective thread running through most dance music in this country's history." From audience response, the festival hit the spot. Music fans from ages 15-50 came out to jam, eat hotdogs and Kalopian gyros, and dance to the groovy rhythms laid down by 13 bands over two nights. Each band played a set of about six tracks, and all of them wished the new Empress Long Life and Good Luck.

Funk Festival Organizers wanted to emphasize this aspect. "Funk is traditionally fairly apolitical" said Bill Greene, a 25 year old funk fan and chief investor in the Funk Festival Project, who sponsored this year's festival. "But we wanted to have a show where people could get down and wish the new Empress Well. We grieved with her when we lost the Emperor, and now we wish her the best and ask her to begin moving Kalistan away from Stagnation." It is unclear whether the Empress was aware of the Festival, but as she was in residence on the Mall during the weekend, the crowd of people and loud funky bands couldn't be completely ignored.

"We think she digs Funk," said Greene, of the 73 year old Monarch. "She used to be in an RF band. How can she not?" Whether the Empress was entertained or not, Green called the festival a success. "Well, the concert was attended by more than 7,000 over two nights here on the Mall, and lots of bands, including our headliners The Stein Gang, gave great performances and got their name out there. That's a complete success in my book."