Kalistani Major History

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Queens of Surf selected to represent Kalistan at FOMAT XX
International Music selection aimed at the sweet spot between "Music Kalistanis Like" and "Music international Voters will Actually listen to"
Kaliburg, Ananto
January 7, 5318


Kalistan's FOMAT XX reps Queens of Surf, at the sold out New Years Eve show in their hometown of Sulari

Queens of Surf have been announced as Kalistani Representatives to the restored FOMAT contest to be held in the Luthori Empire next year. Radio 1 listeners selected Queens of Surf by a narrow margin beating out groups like "The 4 Sophomores" who recently sang the retro sockhop hit "Bobby Socks and Bubblegum" as well as two acapella groups "The MoCo Classics" and Eveari's "Imperials", as well as the girl group "Barbies" who entered "He's my Boyfriend". The Queens of Surf was the only rock and roll song as well as the only Noise Alternative song, and took home a bare plurality of votes for the win. Combined, the 4 losing songs totaled 72% of the votes, but none on their own were popular enough to beat the Queens of Surf.

Radio 1 Listeners were outraged at the selection: "I mean, I could have voted for any one of the ones that lost," said Chip Donnelly. "Those songs were songs that my grandmother could have been proud of, and the rules that said we could vote for only one split the vote."

Kiki Fernandez had a different take on the totals. "Rock. They said they wanted a rock song. Any one of these rock songs, the 4 Sophomores, that was way more rocking than that... that Queens of Surf noise. What is more rockin than four nice clean cut boys snapping their fingers to some good solid four part harmony over an acoustic guitar?!"

Contrary to the outrage and disappointment among the adults, the kids were thrilled to have Queens of Surf be the representative. "This is so exciting," said 16 year old Grace Olverson. "I love them. I play them all the time. In my car, in my room, at school. Finally, we got some music which isn't this bland ass garbage that these yuppies that have over run this country enjoy." A slightly older Jemaine Jones agreed with Olverson. "There's just something that speaks to me when I hear a distorted guitar feeding back through an amplifier. It gives me goosebumps and puts a smile on my face."

College student Poppy Anderson expressed more nuance about the selection. "Personally, I voted for Queens of Surf, because I think their music, especially this single, not only appeals to what is hot and fresh in Kalistan at the moment, something our kids can get behind, but also pays attention to what international voters might also like. I'm glad that ARC picked this track instead of the other new one that came out recently from that guy Bonzo doing a duet with the Queens of Surf. That is more dissonant. When Kalistan has focused on melody and energy, international music fans respond. When we send louder, or more esoteric stuff, International fans reject it. So this is a pretty melodic song, even if it is loud, and the girls in the band are knockouts too. I think they will represent our country well."

Whatever the division, Queens of Surf have won the right to represent the Republic in the proud tradition of music competition. A win here would certainly cement them and the Noise Alternative Movement in Kalistan History, but a loss, especially a bad one would vindicate older listeners who have been saying that Noise Alternative is a fad and that the music scene should be dominated by people wearing conservative clothing, crew cuts and dress slacks to their gigs. We shall see who is right, at least from an international perspective, in the coming months, and will hear more from Queens of Surf later this year as they release their new album "Girl Crush" on ARC.

You can hear Kalistan's entry, which is ironically titled "Likatonia" and was released as a single for consideration for the contest about three months ahead of their new LP, still in post-production here.

[Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xslUOzmDVjA]