Kalistani Major History

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Kalistan surprisingly takes home top honors at Valois
Lourennais jury selection confirms what Millions of Kalistanis know: "The Critics were wrong"
Valois Lourenne
July 20, 5329


Principles from "The Rug At the Center of it All" pause for photos on the Red Carpet in Valois

Slacker cult film "The Rug at the Center of it All" has won "Best Film" and "Best Screenplay" at the prestigious Valois Film Festival in Lourenne. Director Bob Roth and principle actors Nathan Green, Flor Ellis and Jack Damon were on hand in Lourenne to participate in the film festival and lead a short panel discussion on the challenges of taking a fairly difficult novel and adapting it for film. Then at the Festival's capstone event, the Awards Ceremony, Roth was on hand to collect the award for Best Screenplay and Ellis, by vote of her comrades, accepted the award for Best Motion picture on behalf of producer Tama Yakota, who could not be in attendance. "We graciously and humbly accept this award," said Ellis in her short acceptance speech, "...on behalf of our studio and producer Tama Yakota, who took a pounding going into this movie and everything. On their behalf, we thank you and very much appreciate this recognition of the hard work of so many people. And to the Critics back in Kalistan: You were WRONG!"

"We were utterly flabbergasted at the nomination," said actor Nathan Green who played the main character of the story Fat Johnson. "I mean. Just wow, man. Can you dig it? We uh, you know... uh... we always thought this movie was something you know... I mean... you just don't make a movie like this... I mean to say, uh, we CAN make a movie like this, not to say anything about the Kalistani film industry or uh. uh... I mean... You know?"

Fellow actor Jack Damon, who played Fat Johnson's friend Hershel Weber, and whose conversion to and recently acquired zeal for the Yeudi faith and cultural history is a major plot point in the film, said "To be completely honest, we have some real fans back in Kalistan. But it is a surprise to me that they have heard of this movie over here. The way they tore us apart in the press, we kind of got that thing where people wanted to go see the movie because it received such bad press all the time, that people must have thought this was one of those things that was good because it was so bad. But I always believed in it, and so did Flor and Sam and Nate and Tama and Bob. They stuck with the project even when it looked like it would never come out. Really, this was Tama's doing: We went so far over budget, but she always came through with funding for one more scene, one more scene... And the fans... God bless them for discovering how funny this movie really was. Who'da thought: A movie about nothing can win awards too."

Films were only part of the event, of course. In Lourenne fashion is at least as important, and Lourennais designers certainly came through for designer slacker wear for Nathan Green and Jack Damon, who dressed down for the night in linen suits, t-shirts and floral prints, both outfits designed by Lourenne's Adiore house. Flor Ellis, for her part shunned the slacker chic and dressed in a very smart evening dress complete with golden bow accent, designed by Henri Saint Martin. The Kalistanis joined other international film stars on the Red Carpet, snapping pictures with the director of "The Rug At the Center of it All", Bob Roth, for Lourennais magazines and tabloid television programs.

Over all the gala was a fantastic and well attended event, with Roth stating that Kalistan will most certainly be interested in attending again the next time it is held!