Kalistan

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Dame DuMont issues statement on Empress' Visit to Lourenne
Empress "Thanks Emperor for his courtesy," says FM
Kaliburg, Grand Duchy of Ananto
April 18, 5560


Foreign Minister DuMont gives brief statement to Reporters

"Though her Imperial Majesty had not met Emperor Phillipe the Nine," said Dame Jacueline DuMont, Her Imperial Majesty's Foreign Minister, "She has expressed her sincere appreciation for the courtesy shown to her and her daughter as they attended the funeral for the late Emperor."  The new Emperor, Maximilien V, treated Her Imperial Majesty, Empress Pavlina I Ananto and the Minor Princess Carolina Ananto-Hulanevek well, according to Foreign Minister DuMont and ensured that they were well accommodated.  "The Empress has asked me to convey her sincere appreciation for the treatment upon their short visit to Lourenne, and says she looks forward to meeting with her Lourennais counterpart during some happier moment, with the aim of restoring the traditionally warm relations between the two nations."

Following the very stately and somber funeral for the late Emperor, and the following reception at Chateau du Fin du Nord, Her Imperial Majesty, Empress Pavlina I Ananto and the Minor Princess Carolina Ananto-Hulanevek took the opportunity to tour Eroncourt.  FM DuMont reported, "Over the years, there have not been many opportunities for the Kalistani Sovereign to leave the country, and she said it was her heart's desire to see one of the reputedly most beautiful cities in the world.  The Minor Princess Carolina was also thrilled to see the beautiful architecture and the Palace of Lights."  

To take the tours, the Empress and Princess and their personal attendants posed as simple tourists, but the Empress' cover was blown because very few people would ever dress nearly completely in ink black to see these magnificent sites.  The Empress was able to take some photos with various random Lourennais citizens during her short tours.  "She was even able to practice her Canrillais with the locals, who indulged her politely, and gently corrected her errors.  Her Imperial Majesty was charmed by the kindness with which she and her daughter were treated by the citizens of the Lourennais Capital, and she was reported to have really enjoyed the trip and was glad to have been invited."  Dame DuMont ended that Her Imperial Majesty and the Minor Princess had already returned to Kaliburg.

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Empress considers Recognizing World Congress
Her Imperial Majesty said to be "weighing options"
Kaliburg, Grand Duchy of Ananto
November 14, 5560


Empress holds informal audience with Dr. Sam Moritomo, among others, on possible role for Kalistan in WC

One of the biggest gaps in Kalistan's foreign relations has long been its refusal to acknowledge the World Congress.  Though it has consistently contributed votes for delegation to the World Congress' security council, Kalistan has received a reputation as one who stands outside that organization.  But now, Her Imperial Majesty, Empress Pavlina I Ananto is weighing her options with regard to sending a permanent delegation to the WC General Assembly as a seated member.

"The Empress doesn't share Kalistan's traditional suspicion of the World Congress," said Dr. Sam Moritomo, of Imperial University in Kalistan.  "As a result, she has spent the last few years meeting with various international law scholars, both from within the Empire, as well as from places like Kundrati and Lourenne, to discuss the pros and cons of being a member of the body.  While I can't say one way or another, the questions she asked me were about the logistics of joining the World Congress, as if she is coming down on the side of joining.  Its hard to say:  She also asked about the history of Kalistani abstention from the proceedings.  So, I suppose we will know when she finally makes up her mind."

Kalistan has traditionally sat outside the body despite it being a world forum to discuss international affairs.  "Kalistan doesn't support the collective security aspects of the Charter, first and foremost, and if we ultimately stay outside of it, it will likely be for that reason," said Professor Moritomo.  "Kalistan does not like the idea of liberal internationalism, and the World Congress was built by and for liberal internationalists.  So, this is a large strike against the organization in any Kalistani's eyes, except the Empress, who may have a different perspective."

Another thing which Kalistan could object to would be the inability of the General Assembly to compel action from the Security Council, while the Security Council is made almost exclusively of powerful states.  "We know in Kalistan, something that the world is unwilling to acknowledge, that international law is only 'what powerful nations say it is'," said Dr. Moritomo.  "In other words, there is no such thing as eternal international law principles, nor is there a such thing as objective international law.  It literally is only what powerful states decide to enforce.  Kalistan would balk if any great power said Kalistan had to do this or that, when doing those things violate the national interest of Kalistan.  So the general disregard for the very concept of international law is a huge strike against joining the WC."

But, Moritomo said there are a number of reasons Kalistan might be considering joining, in spite of these obvious flaws and shortsightedness in the thinking of the creators of the World Congress.  "Staying outside the World Congress also puts Kalistan in the category of Pariah state," said the Professor.  "When countries are making plans for major state visits, they tend to not include Kalistan on their itinerary.  This necessarily cuts Kalistan completely out of deals that are going on around them, because people know if Kalistan is unwilling to bend the knee to the Global world order represented by the WC, it is likely unwilling to give concessions on more serious matters.  So people tend to not engage with Kalistan to the degree that Kalistan would prefer.  That leads Kalistan to engage in more risky behaviors to try to get others to actually engage with it."

Joining the World Congress would likely give Kalistan a larger voice in world affairs.  "Kalistan wants others to recognize its role as a regional leader," said Moritomo.  "It is a place that Kalistan has striven for for a long time, and in a body like the World Congress, Kalistan can take up efforts to do just that.  We have the knowledge, the resources, and the credibility to fill in that role, and perhaps even to balance at least some of the more egregious powerplays of the Security Council inside the World Congress, where as long as we stand outside of it, we have zero influence on what happens there."

Finally Moritomo said that the Empress is probably looking for an excuse to change Kalistani policy toward the World Congress.  "From what I can tell, one of the main issues is that the World Congress never asked Kalistan to join.  This is pretty important to Kalistanis.  They just assumed, at their founding that everyone would, but nobody ever came to Kalistan to try to sell us on the institution, and contrary to the beliefs of liberals, the benefits to joining are not immediately obvious.  I think Her Imperial Majesty would like to be the one to lead Kalistan into the World Congress, but she, and Kalistan are also extremely conservative, and they aren't going to change established policy for no reason whatsoever.  So, perhaps that is what she is waiting on.  It's hard to say."

Whatever the reasoning, Moritomo said nothing is likely to happen immediately.  "You're talking about changing hundreds and maybe more than a thousand years of settled policy," said the Professor.  "I can suggest to Her Imperial Majesty that we move that way, but I am just one voice among many.  I can just give her credit for listening.  It's more than her predecessors would have been willing to do.  She is an absolute monarch, however, and will make the decision that she sees fit, and while I have my preferences, we do as she bids us do with regard to the Anantonese State.  It is my hope she will continue to listen to different perspectives on the subject and make a wise decision one way or another."

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Odufaray completes repairs to National Railway
Service between Addisjah and Lucid Valley completely restored
Eshar, Duchy of Odufaray
November 24, 5560


Last length of track placed in new "Empress Pavlina Bridge" to complete connection through Odufaray

The last remnants of the destruction to the National Railway infrastructure were repaired this week just outside of Eshar, Odufaray.  Several dozen miles of track were destroyed in the Rebellion earlier this decade as insurgents tore up the track to prevent Kalistani Regulars from using the train system to attempt to address the rebellion.  The most extensive damage to the rail system was outside of Eshar, where the bridge across the meandering Vrassa River was completely demolished, cutting rail service between north and south.  The National Railway was cut for almost four years now and has finally been restored.

"We would like to thank Her Imperial Majesty, the Empress Pavlina for her continued dedication to our community," said Eshar's Lord Mayor Daniel Hollingsworth.  "She has made the restoration of our city's homes, businesses and infrastructure her top priority since returning to Kalistan from Gaduridos, and has shown us that she is committed to our well being and prosperity."  The Bridge, which was dedicated to the Empress this week, is the final link in the restored National Railway system, and the Trans-Seleyan Railroad which passes through Kalistan.

"For the past four years, almost, passengers have been having to disembark in Senvias Station," said Lord Hollingsworth, "and then finding some way to Eshar, whether it be overland bus, or via the ferry across Eshar Bay, or whatever, and then re-embark at Eshar.  The entire process would add hours onto someone's trip from north to south, including all the international passengers.  It tended to encourage plane travel over Kalistan from other countries rather than use of the high speed rails.  With this bridge reconstructed and the new track completed, we're going to see those commute and transit times drop back down to what we have become accustomed to, and the rail will once more outcompete the plane."

Other sections of track have been restored over the past several years, and only a few bridges needed to be replaced as a result of the insurgents' destruction.  "Having to rebuild parts of this track, more than 50 miles of it in all, in Odufaray alone, has also given us the opportunity to go over the entire length of the track and inspect and update the infrastructure across the entire Duchy.  We needed to repaid some bridges and replace some tracks that were worn out and were out of tolerance for the high speed trains, and ultimately our processes have improved significantly since laying the track in the first place, and a lot of the updates we put in will last for a long time into the future."

Track repairs in Vrassa and Suldanor have been completed for more than a year now, and Odufaray was the last Duchy to complete repairs.  "We had the most serious damage," said Lord Hollingsworth, "but the Empress herself put her own money into our repairs, and as a result, we are at least a year ahead of the projected completion date.  So we appreciate the Empress' willingness to look to our needs like this, and we honor her with the Vrassa River crossing."

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A Space Program for Kalistan?
Kalistani Physicists head to Lourenne to learn about Rocketry
Kaliburg, Grand Duchy of Ananto
December 15, 5560


Professor Dena Alonzo, tapped to oversee Space Research in Kalistan

Recently, various hobbyists have taken up the practice of model rocketry in Kalistan.  They have been inspired by the growing space programs across Terra.  "We are seeing more and more teens and young adults taken to firing off model rockets in parks and fields across Kalistan," said Professor Dena Alonzo of Kaliburg Polytechnic University, who has recently been named Project leader for the nascent Kalistani space research program at KPU.  "Most of the rockets will fly into the air more than 100 feet, and deploy a parachute so they may be retrieved and reused.  It's a fairly fun activity that parents and their kids can get into, and for some reason there seems to be a lot more interest in the hobby these days than there has been in decades past, perhaps something to do with various space related news from across the globe."

But Professor Alonzo also notes that there is interest in rocketry from the scientific community.  "My collogues have begun working on grants aimed at developing rockets that are more than just hobbies or toys.  We are beginning to explore the scientific and commercial implications of a rocket program, perhaps someday to begin building our own rockets here to put communication and scientific satellites into orbit.  There is plenty of knowledge and experience around the globe and we are starting to become interested in possibly exploring this for ourselves."

Earlier this month, following several discussions with Kalistani media outlets, including KRTVN and Radio Kaliburg, the Ministry of Science and Technology has ordered Kalistan's intelligencia to begin working on communications satellites for the goal of launching a continental telecommunications network, tentatively called Radio Seleya.  Currently, the space program is licensed to the private sector, but there has not been an application for a permit to develop space assets in centuries in Kalistan, so the Government will be signing legislation to move the Space Program back into the Public Sector, and placing it under the governance of the Ministry of Science and Technology.  "There is currently no money in it," said Professor Alonzo.  "We currently license our global telecommunications links on others satellites, but I think the thrust of the National Government is headed in the direction of us developing our own technology."

Professor Alonzo said that an initial group of 35 scientists from across the Empire have been invited to Lourenne, to the Royal Space Agency and to the University of Thiers - Aerospace Facility, located in Thiers-Sur-Noel in Lourenne to study with Lourennais counterparts and "learn the science of rocketry.  The lessons will include telemetry, or aiming the rockets so that they can enter orbit at the right angles, as well as rocket body design, fueling systems, and payloads. I don't doubt that we can get this information from the internet, but if Kalistan is prepared to invest several billion Rubles into the program, we may as well learn from people with a thousand years of experience in the field.  We also would like to explore electronics for civilian, peaceful applications-  Communications satellites, weather satellites and geo-positioning satellites, for starters, to allow Kalistan to begin to catch up to some of the more advanced nations."

When asked if there will be a defense component to the program, Professor Alonzo said that was highly unlikely.  "Kalistan's defensive doctrine precludes anything like missiles.  We already possess surface to surface and air to surface rocket artillery.  This thrust is specifically aimed at scientific and commercial application, and to my understanding there are no conversations at this point about military usage."  Professor Alonzo said that the training in Lourenne will be designed to create orbital technology.

"I'm not even sure if manned spaceflight is being considered at this point," said Professor Alonzo.  "Adding life support systems creates a host of problems for which there are not a lot of return on investment anymore.  Anything that humans needed Space to develop has been pretty much developed already.  It's 5560 and we are interested in learning technology that was initially invented in the 1950s,  and perfected by 1963, but surprise:  only now, 3600 years later, is Kalistan just getting around to it.  I don't think manned space flight will yield much benefit for Kalistan."

The first team, led by Dr. Alonzo, is likely to head for Lourenne in about 4-6 months and will remain in country for about 2 years to learn as much as they need to in order for Kalistan to gain the rudimentary knowledge necessary to begin building and testing full sized modern rockets.  "Meanwhile, we have developed a team who will begin constructing necessary infrastructure in Kalistan Proper so that we can begin building and testing when we return.  This infrastructure will consist of an initial launch pad facility, a mission control, and a rocket fabrication building.  Over time, as we gain more experience, we will add new facilities to the location, and it will become a proper space facility.  The site is being selected as we speak, but it will likely be somewhere in Suldanor, away from major population centers, due to the weather and factors that rule Ananto and Vrassa completely out.  Those facilities should be ready for us when we return."

As Kalistan steps into the present day with regard to the space program, they will likely be looking for additional partnerships.  "We of course have already had some offers for cooperation from Beiteynu, who have themselves experience with ballistics and space tech, and we don't doubt that others will want to cooperate, especially in the electronic sector, to help us source electronics necessary to build the kind of satellites Kalistan is looking for.  Kalistan is looking to cooperate, and this would be a great opportunity for a lot of countries who have some expertise but with fewer resources to be a part of it."

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Kill Your Speaker does just that
Senvias quartet releases Noise Alternative for the New Year
Kaliburg, Grand Duchy of Ananto
January 5, 5561


Kill Your Speaker's debut Deth in Senvias described as Emo Noise

Music production seemed to be on hiatus in the last few years, given the political disruptions in Kalistan.  Noise Alternative has been fairly ubiquitous on Radio 1 for more than a decade, but the lull in recording new Noise bands opened the door to folk musicians like Michelle Inti, and funk-psychedellic rock musicians like Marcus Carrangus Jr., who will be representing Kalistan at FOMAT XXX in Kanjor.

But that didn't stop bands from forming, playing, building followings across the Empire, and getting signed.  And now, after a relatively shortish hiatus, new Noise Alternative comes roaring back with an album that is getting major push at both Radio and in record stores.  The Senvias quartet, Kill Your Speaker, has released their debut album Deth in Senvias on KMI just in time to ring in the New Year in Kaliburg.

And ring is the optimal word.  Bassist and primary song writer Melvin Maltan says this record is designed to give its listeners tinnitus.  "You know that little ringing you have in your ear when you're at a show and you stand too close to the speaker?" said Maltan.  "Well, I mean, its hearing damage sure, but like we wanted to give you a record that simulates that situation for you, especially when you can't go to a show."

Whether it is a good thing to give their fans hearing damage is debatable, but what is clear is that fans are really getting into this record.  "It takes the whole quiet-loud-quiet-loud thing that these Noise Alternative bands do and just gets rid of almost all the quiet part," said Cassie Ostrogov, who listened to the record before buying at Record Hut in Gallo, Kaliburg.  "So yeah, its like quiet-loud-loud-loud-loud."

"I think these guys are kind of emo," said Nathaniel Morning, of Eshar.  "You could say they are Emo Noise.  Or Noiseymo.  Whatever... I mean they are playing super loud music, but always talk about some girl, that I assume they know.  And they talk about pain and like loneliness and like unrequired love.  The music is really pretty in a sort of beautiful disaster sort of way.  But yeah.  Its VERY loud.  I don't even know how they get their guitars up that loud."  Music analysis shows that the record isn't any louder in terms of decibels than other noise alternative records.

"Yeah, I mean we record it really loud, and then hard limited it in post to a -3db mix," said Maltan.  "So, when it was recorded, it was probably like a +6 or +7, but the hard limiting just makes it seem that loud, but its clipped.  If you check out the wave form, you can see how that looks.  It makes the sound seem louder and super crunchy.  Though you know, for these guitars we have like maybe 4 or 5 pedals on it.  I just have a distortion pedal on my bass, I think Mark (Allison, singer and rhythm guitarist) has like a fuzz, distortion and chorus pedal on and maybe like one of those whirlygig pedals, and Jack (Flores, on lead) uses a lot of Chorus and a harmonics pedal, so he can get that kinda metallic guitar feedback effect.  And we compress the sh-- out of the drums.  So it sounds HUGE and really loud.  But its all production and post-.  Its definitely a lot bigger sound than a lot of the other Noise bands have created, and its something that we're pretty proud of."

"Senvias over all," said long time KYS fan Marta Bradley.  "You don't hear a lot of music from Senvias, but if you think about it, we're got that grit from Swede Port and the Noise from Kaliburg, and the punk and metal influences from Sulari and Yoshimi all mixed into this scene.  The last big Senvias Band, Brown Paper Bag was super loud and super melodic too.  We're hella proud that our guys got signed and now the rest of the Empire can enjoy what we've had all this time!"

[Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gMEB4HNNZ2I]
You can check out the Kill Your Speaker's entire debut album Deth in Senvias from KMI right here, and check out the video for "Counting Daisies" right here and on M7.

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New Space and Test Center to be founded at Spencer
Sleepy Suldanor village selected to become the center of Kalistani Space Program
Spencer, Duchy of Suldanor
March 18, 5561


Spencer, Suldanor is a sleepy oceanside village suitable for "long walks on the beach"

The village of Spencer, Suldanor, population 9,500 has been selected as the site of the new Imperial Space and Communications Agency (ISCA) headquarters.  Nearby Point Spencer, a wild stretch of sand dunes and low coastal hills will become the site of the new Spencer Space and Test Center.  All of this was put forth in a new bill in the National Assembly.  The Space and Test center will contain rocket launch facilities, mission and launch control, rocket fabrication and assembly facilities, and a visitor center where visitors will be able to watch rocket launches.  The launch facility will be about 20 miles east of Spencer and the rocket launches are not expected to impact quality of life in Spencer.

"The residents of Spencer will likely hear something, if the wind is onshore at the time of launch," said program specialist Frank Jung.  "At that distance though, it will only be between 95 and 110 decibels, which is lower than a civilian passenger jet.  We also will be looking into water suppression systems that will further reduce the noise at ground level, where it will be most noticeable.  But the advantage of Point Spencer is that it is both remote, and also close enough to the major industrial centers in Sulari to be practical."

When determining the location of the site for the new Space and Test Center, weather and geology were also a factor.  "We initially considered Ananto, but quickly nixed that plan," said Jung.  "The weather on the Island is such that we simply wouldn't have clear days to launch in over half the year.  Additionally, the Island is prone to fits of seismic activity, which would frustrate launch efforts.  Suldanor, on the other hand, has excellent weather, and Point Spencer itself has more than 320 days a year of sun for more than 50% of the daytime hours on average.  Additionally, the average high in winter is a comfortable 65 degrees, while the average high in the summer is a very nice 80 degrees, suggesting perfect weather for rocket launches all year round.  Point Spencer is the ideal site."  Other rejected sites include Yoshimi, Frontera, and a spot north of Dana.

Spencer isn't usually marked on maps, because it is so small, but it is about to become very important

The construction of the Space and Flight Center is expected to cost ₭450 Million over the next three years.  The program will receive budgetary support under Ministries of Science and Technology, who will oversee ISCA, and Ministry of Infrastructure and Transport, who will be offering grants to expand housing and infrastructure in Spencer to accommodate the expected 9500 permanent personnel who will ultimately work at the Space and Test Center.  "Such an influx of people will certainly double the size of the town, and will put strains on the existing services," said Jung.  "But there will be more than a half a billion dollars in grants available to help expand the housing stock over the next few years, as well as the infrastructure and local commercial and public services.  It will be a massive project that will bring a lot of economic changes to the sleepy village, but once we get through the growing pains, I imagine that Spencer will be a net beneficiary of increased tourism and economic activity, and could become a very important town in Suldanor.

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Kalistani News in Brief:  Naval Procurement kicks into High Gear
Foundations laid in Spencer; Union Conference proceeds apace
Kaliburg, Grand Duchy of Ananto
June 30, 5561


Concrete is poured on the first Launch Facility at new Spencer Space and Test Center

Naval Procurement shifts into High Gear
The 4th Fleet continues to take shape as a number of recommissioned ships that the 4th Fleet has been using during its stand up period are pulled off the line and replaced by brand new ships.  24 of the 28 submarines scheduled for deployment have taken their positions in the new 4th Fleet, as have one of the two new Destroyers, five of the 8 frigates, and 2 corvettes have been built.  Both Naval Shipyards in Sulari and Kaliburg have been working overtime to meet the order, and the procurement is on schedule to be completed by December of 5562.  "The biggest bottleneck has been in armament," said National Shipyard spokesperson Monica Jones.  "We haven't had a need to build much naval artillery in a very long time, so as we are commissioning a lot of these ships, we are having to cannibalize the guns from recommissioned ships:  We push one out, take receipt of the one they were sailing on, strip the guns and the fire control assemblies, and use them in the next ships that are coming off the lines, then get the next ship in here.  We built the delays into the production schedule, but since we are actually building new ships, with new processes and new electronics and new everything, rather than simply refitting old ones, we have to deal with this bottleneck."  The ships coming off the lines that are being stripped are set to be completely scrapped after this procurement cycle, and a few of the re-decommissioned ships are already being disassembled in Bozo River.

ISCA Spencer Space and Test Center begins pouring concrete for launch facility
In a multi-stage construction process, the first courses of concrete are being poured in the new Spencer Space Center at Point Spencer, Suldanor.  By the time the launch pad is fully constructed, there will be about 56,500 tons of concrete poured.  "Kalistan is lucky to have a National Service Program that can supply the thousands of skilled concrete workers, rebar specialists, welders, and every other skilled labor class we need to build this facility," said project lead Kathy Heinrich.  "Most nations when they say 'I'd like a space program' don't think about all the things necessary to build the facilities necessary to actually construct the physical plant of a space program.  They just think 'I'd like rockets,' and then expect to have rockets.  Its going to take years to get this place ready to fire our first rocket.  This launch pad we are building will be one of two on this site, and will be primarily used to test rocket designed.  Our main rocket site will require nearly twice as much concrete and tons and tons of steel.  But we can do it."  Heinrich said that though the rocket scientists will be returning from Lourenne in a couple years, the physical structures will take nearly a decade to complete.  "You can do it fast or you can do it right," said Heinrich.  "In Kalistan, we always do it right."  The first three courses of concrete on this launch pad will be poured and set up by the time work stops for the season in late fall.

Union Conference Proceeds in due order
The Northern Seleyan Confederation Conference is continuing in Kaliburg.  The Plenary Session, which is being chaired by Her Imperial Majesty's Foreign Minister Dame Jacqueline DuMont, is currently working on whether we should begin to develop a closer political and or economic union in Northern Seleya.  Currently representatives from the 4 Vrassan/Luthorian speaking nations in Northern Seleya and Tukarali have sent delegations to the conference.  "We regret that Gaduridos did not send a delegation," said Dame DuMont.  "The Government noted that the President said they would have been interested, but inexplicably opted to not send anyone, despite the benefit they would have received from at least having a voice in the Conference.  But judging by the several high profile visits to Gaduridos since the beginning of the Conference by Narikiton, Luthori, and Lourenne, all of whom have strong interests in keeping Gaduridos seperate from a closer association with Gaduridos' northern neighbors, and lack of offsetting visits to Gaduridos by other Seleyan nations, I suppose the Gaduri unwillingness to participate on any level makes more sense.  It is what we figured at the outset, and we have to carry on with or without them.  So it looks like it will be without them."  In regard to the absense of Valruzia, Dame DuMont said simply, "No Comment."  

Judging by the proposals of the various delegations to the Conference, Dame DuMont is optimistic on the formation of a confederation of some kind.  "We will issue our own proposal that will be similar to the proposals made by both Likatonia and Lodamun, but will likely urge for a more solid political union where all members share power and internal decisions are made democratically.  It will be slightly more than both Lodamun and Likatonia have proposed but our desire is to present delegates with a range of options.  Ultimately, Kalistan will be satisfied with what the body decides, as long as it is something."  When asked if she thinks others will be able to join when the confederation is built, DuMont said "If Kalistan has anything to say about it, not without significant concessions on their part.  I personally would never want to see our work get used to leverage some Artanian.  Seleyan independence is far more important than that."  The Conference will continue.

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Sulari based Smoke releases 7 song EP Nihilism on ARC



ARC signs Sulari Noise Alternative Band Smoke
Nihilism forces us to ask "Why do Heroin Users make such loud music"
Sulari, Duchy of Suldanor
July 8, 5562

Sulari is well known for its incredibly loud music, and the newly signed trio Smoke is no different.  But their debut EP, Nihilism makes us wonder:  Is there something about heroin use that makes rock musicians play their guitars excessively loud?

"Oh haha," said George Cacophonous (born George Burton).  "Yeah, I mean I play loud because that's the kind of music I really like.  I come from more of a metal and a punk background.  Turning the guitars way up just makes sense.  It's only a coincidence that I am also one of the drug people..."  Cacophonous said he's clean now, and being in a band was the thing that straightened him out.  "Our manager told us that if we ever want to be taken seriously, we can't be shooting up all the time, so we had a choice of either making music or killing ourselves.  So we decided to get clean together and put all that energy into making music."

Smoke's lyrics frequently discuss drug use and the influence that broken family lives and domestic violence often contributes to drug use.  "Like a lot of the people, myself included, took to drinking at an early time and then it was was weed and then it was I don't know, like crack, and maybe quaaludes and acid then of course, you are just all twisted up in a hotel room and some dude comes out of nowhere and asks if you want to smack up with him and all of a sudden you are doing month long detox trying to get signed to a record label.  It's a tale as old as time.  That's probably how all these guys got into music."

Cacophonous said he met Black "Bob" Michelson, Smoke's bassist and Don Heavy Dee, Smoke's drummer, in Sulari at a party.  "Once we found out we all could play, we started practicing, and playing parties and little concerts around Sulari.  There's a zillion clubs, and it seems like every other show, the guy who owned one of these clubs would offer to pay us in beer and drugs, and since only Black was paying rent, and we were kind of all crashing out at his place, the only thing we ever needed money for was to buy drugs, so cut out the middle man, you know?"  This cycle continued for about three years, and then the insurgency started in Kalistan.

"So we were like beaten up one night by these people who could only be described as fascists," said Dee.  "Real jack boot fascists, yelling at us about the Empress and everything and all these foreigners.  And I had just shot up and these guys were harshing my sh-t you know, so I stood up and punched one right in the face, and then they broke my jaw.  Real Mother fu--ers."  The band decided that Sulari was probably not the safest place for them to be at that time, and so they relocated to Kaliburg.  "When we were there and were recuperating on a bunch of pain killers, we started going to clubs and hearing this noise alternative stuff, and we were like "Man we can do that!"  So we started playing in clubs in Kaliburg, trying to like emulate the guitar work of Amethyst Lemon, and like George really liked Sawmilly, and Ultrafuzz, and we found our sound."

Following the Rebellion, the band moved back to Sulari and decided to make a real effort to become a professional Alternative Rock Band.  "We would probably fit more into straight alternative," said Cacophonous, "because our sound isn't about making a bunch of weird experimental stuff.  We have the volume sure, but if you turned the guitars down, or recorded them acoustic, the songs would be sweet, maybe even kind of depressive.  So I mean, they are more along the lines of a straight alternative songs with the volume of noise."  Based on the strength of a three song demo, they were signed to ARC last year on a development contract, and have now released their first EP, called Nihilism.

"Our goal is to get the music out, of course, and get heard," said Cacophonous.  "And you know, if we do well, since we all made the promise that as long as we keep working, we will stay drug and alcohol free, if we do well, you know, maybe we will have a long life and career ahead of us."

"Yeah, so buy our record!" added Dee.  "Our lives depend on it!  HAHAHA."

Radio 1 has already picked up Smoke's first single off Nihilism called "Now I Can't Smile", and they have made enough off of single sales to produce a promotional video which is beginning to get play on M7.  You can listen to Smoke's debut album Nihilism, released on ARC, right here, and check out their debut video for "Now I Can't Smile."

[Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D9TgL1zh-rk]

Smoke's "Now I Can't Smile" of their ARC debut EP Nihilism

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His Highness Mark Ananto-Orleans, Grand Duke of Kalistan at an Investment Conference this Spring



Grand Duke Mark Ananto is recalled to Kalistan
"You are needed at home," says Empress
Kaliburg, Grand Duchy of Ananto
October 7, 5561

Her Imperial Majesty, Empress Pavlina I Ananto has officially required the Grand Duke of Kalistan, His Highness Mark Ananto-Orleans and his family to take up his official residence in Sulari on a more or less full time basis.  

"It is our determination," said the Empress, "that full time life in foreign nation is not conducive to service to Grand Duke's demesne.  We require a viceroy in Kalistan, and Grand Duke is officially tasked with this duty.  Therefore, we require him to live in Empire.  He may, as he pleases maintain his home in Ciudad Gaduri, but his work is here, and he must recommence his service to Our Will."

Ananto, for his part agreed to comply with the Royal summons immediately, and shall begin winding his business contacts in Gaduridos down over the next couple months.  "Aunque me duele tener que dejar mi vida y mi hogar aquí en Gaduridos," said the Grand Duke, "Su Majestad Imperial, la Emperatriz tiene razón al decir que puedo servir mejor al pueblo del Imperio desde dentro del Imperio. Tengo la intención de mantener mi villa aquí como hogar de invierno para que la usen mi familia y amigos, y regresar con regularidad; sin embargo, mi familia y yo nos mudaremos a Sulari dentro de dos meses para asumir el gobierno en Sulari."

The summons is seen as part and parcel with the deteriorating relations between Kalistan and Gaduridos.  "It is believed that Grand Duke Mark Ananto was in Gaduridos to begin with to oversee Anantonese investment and Kalistani development efforts," said crown watcher Willy Zachariah.  "Now that any offers for investment or expansion into Gaduridos have been entirely sidelined, and Kalistan's willingness to invest has been entirely ignored in Los Altos in favor of non-Seleyan investment, Kalistan no longer has much of of a rason d'etre for playing a direct role in Gaduridos.  The Empress tolerated the Grand Duke's absence from Kalistan if it seemed that there would be some gain from it.  But those days are apparently over, and hence the Grand Duke has been recalled."

When asked for his opinion on the deterioration of relations between Kalistan and Gaduridos, the Grand Duke answered, "¿Qué relaciones? He leído que el presidente desconfía de la monarquía, pero habíamos hecho varias ofertas de inversión de miles de millones de rubles, y nos respondieron con un educado 'muchas gracias', y luego no volvimos a saber nada más. El gobierno tuvo la gentileza de acoger a la emperatriz en su exilio, pero no hizo ningún esfuerzo por hablar con ella mientras estuvo aquí. He tenido la sensación de que somos (los Anantos) más una molestia que otra cosa, así que ¿qué más hay que decir?"  Indeed, despite repeated informal offers for investment in the Vintallian states, and strong protests concerning the Anantonese monarchy, Gaduridos opted to continue to support the LFR and maintain a military base owned by our neighbors, the United Kingdom of Lourenne, as well as take money for oil investment from Narikaton, as well as strengthen its relations with Luthori.  "Parece que al presidente nacionalista no le desagradan todas las monarquías, sólo las que se llaman Ananto," said the Grand Duke.

Grand Duke Mark Ananto and family is expected to reoccupy the Ananto Mansion near Sulari, and will be immediately charged with overseeing the construction of the Spencer Space and Test Center. "The Empress has also asked the Grand Duke to seek investment for development of Kalistan's satellite technology," said Zachariah. "This is a nod to Ananto's abilities in business, networking and fundraising. Grand Duke Ananto also wants to take on an agenda item of improving the housing stock in Kalistan's cities, and has called a council of his Dukes and Duchesses to begin to work on this project for mid-February."

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Her Imperial Majesty, Empress Pavlina I Ananto to fly to Ikradon for Artanian Conference



Empress flies to Ikradon to serve as Observer from Seleya at Artanian Conference
Her Imperial Majesty silenced so Luthorian Delegates "can hear self think"
Kaliburg, Grand Duchy of Ananto
November 30, 5561

Her Imperial Majesty Empress Pavlina I Ananto flew to Magrathea, Ikradon today to represent Kalistan in the Artanian Conference.  Seen as an attempt to unite the poor, benighted Artanian States against their evil, bloodthirsty foreign oppressors, the Empress thought it would be prudent to be in attendance so that the Artanians do not conduct plans in secret which might affect Seleya.  Her Imperial Majesty took the rare moment to informally speak to our reporter before boarding the plane to Ikradon.

"We have asked Organizer if possible that we should attend conference on Artanian Security and cooperation," said Her Imperial Majesty.  "We see conference as running parallel to own efforts here in Kaliburg, as analog to effort that Seleyan nations are working on to resist Artanian incursion into continent.  We believe their effort to work together on their continent has long history and tradition in Artania, going back to Artanian Union of collective security.  It is history we understand, and validate, and we welcome opportunity to observe proceeding and be up to date in outcomes.  As all know, We were born and raised in Artania, in Kundrati, and still have most relatives there.  Naturally We are very interested in effort of Artania, and also Kundrati, to work together and cooperate.  It is our hope, that if Artania work together, they agree to leave our new home, Seleya alone, and focus on self."

The Empress flew with the Minor Princess Carolina first to Etxea Kundrati, where the Princess will stay with relatives while the Empress shuttles back and forth between the Anantos' home there and Ikradon.  "We intend to bring Carolina to proceeding few days, not only to meet President of Kundrati if possible, but also to observe how diplomats work in conference like this.  Someday, she will be Empress, and she need to begin observe these type of event.  We also seek to introduce her to more of world, and teach her that there is much to see and learn in travel.  She hardly remembers Kundrati, and we feel that it is link that must not be severed for her.  So we feel, is important to visit Artania from time to time just to reconnect with root."

Her Imperial Majesty said she has asked to be seated with Beitenese observers, who will also be in attendance.  "We have much to discuss during conference," said the Empress.  "Is necessary to talk with them and also with Lourennais, about rocket.  Both states have excellent experience, and it is our desire to take opportunity, while we are not allowed to speak in conference, to hold mini summit of our own at event.  We have been asked to remain silent during conference and not interrupt, but we think this was requested to allow Luthorian to hear self think.  We will honor request of Host Ikradon.  We also look forward to meeting with Esteemed Working Class servants at Conference.  Meeting them is far more interesting to us than meeting Luthorian delegation."

The Empress said she will stay at the conference as long as she can, but can and will return to Kalistan either as soon as the conference ends, or she is needed at home.  "Meanwhile, we asked Mark Ananto to act in our place, and he will work with Sir Bertram (Ames-Ananto, Chancellor of the Empire) in Government until we return."