Kalistani Major History

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Please see below for a few snippets of news from Kalistan

The Kalistani Football Championship Goes Live

September 5064

The Kalistani Football Championship (KFC) opened up with an exciting intra-Ananto clash between Kaliburg and Dahriel in the capital city. The K’s went ahead with a field goal before falling behind to two Dahriel touchdowns in the first and second quarters. However with home support the K’ eventually recovered and with three touchdowns romped home to a 24 point to 13. The university stadium was absolutely packed for the first game, which bodes well for the Kaliburg franchise which eventually hopes to have an 80,000 seater stadium built by 5070. KFC President Brett Gullivan in absolute tears at the start of the opening game and in a post-match press conference expressed how delighted he was that his dream had been realised.



Fast paced action from the University of Kaliburg stadium.

Government Passes New Budget, Significant Defence Cuts, Allegations of Historic Corruption

January 5065

The Finance Minister has passed a new budget, the first in over 40 years. Overall spending will drop slightly from 2.413 Trillion Kalistani Roubles (KRB) to 2.395 Trillion KRBs, however this masks significant changes in Ministry levels of spending. While Health, Education, Infrastructure and Justice will all see budget rises of at least 50 Billion KRBs, the Defence budget will see a cut of almost 320 Billion KRBs. Since 5021 the Defence budget has consumed over 13% of total GDP and the Finance Minister Dirk Moore has detailed that it was high time such scandalous spending was stopped. Although not discussed in the budget debate it has been suggested that there are significant allegations of corruption in the defence department going back to the 5021 budget and that in 44 years significant amounts may have been wasted in dubious expenditure, ponteitnally tainting every previous government that has operated with this bulbous Defence budget that accounts for over one third of total government spending.

Presidential Staff Announces Planning for Official Visit to Baltusia

February 5065

President Charitys outer office have discussed planning for an official visit to neighbouring Baltusia. It is believed that the President wishes to improve relations with Kalistans neighbour, nearly 185 years after a great crisis that soured relations between the two nations. President Charity has previously expressed her interest in building friendly relations with neighbouring nations to ensure peace and prosperity across northern Seleya. It is known that the President has cousins who still reside in neighbouring Ralston, and this has often been a target for opposition parties who have been critical of any expression of friendship towards Baltusia from the governing party.



President Charity at a press conference

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Socialist Officer Corp Prepares to Resign Commissions to Protest “Radical” Reorganization of Military
Establishment of “Professional Standing Military” will move Republic toward bellicose stance internationally
Kaliburg, Ananto
February 8, 5065

In a brief statement by the Socialist Regular Officers’ Association, an informal fraternal organization of Regular Force Officers who are politically affiliated with the Socialist Party of Kalistan, a significant number of the senior military general, staff and field officers says it is prepared to resign their commissions in the Kalistani Regular Force ahead of what they call a “radical reorganization of the Regular Military that is proposed with no input from base commanders, unit commanders or military staff.”

The statement notes that changing the Regular Force from a part time force that coordinates with Militias to a full time professional standing military in a nation which does not generally go to war or intervene internationally is “politically motivated, in the Governments never ending quest to align Kalistan with Baltusia standards rather than preserving Kalistan’s separate identity, and will make us more likely to start wars with our neighbors or participate in the wars started by other nations, with the end result being death and destruction for the Kalistani people.”

Spokesman for the group, Lt. General David Guerra, of the 2nd Army said, “Kalistan’s strategic doctrine is defensive. We do not need a standing military for that. The Government is entirely wrong headed here, undermines our ability to defend our Republic and essentially alienates the Militia, who are far too valuable to lose, and will be rendered basically worthless if regulated by the Government and the Laws of War.”

The General said that this threatened resignation will affect nearly 70 percent of the officers of the Regular Forces, including most General and Staff officer ranks, who are primarily composed of Socialists. “Well, what can be said,” asked Guerra rhetorically. “The Socialists were in control my entire career: those are the people who have long held it as a duty to defend this Republic. The Socialists promoted generally based on skill and time in grade, as per the standards of the military, but when most of the people who sought commissions were also affiliated with the Socislists, those are the people who got promoted, given that Liberals generally opposed service obligation to the Republic. The Officer Cotps will be primarily composed of Majors on down if this bellicose law goes into effect.”

The action follows reports from earlier in the week where the SP would rather demobilize their militia than put it under command of the Regular Force. “Doing so,” said Militia Spokeperson SSgt Melanie McCartney, “will tie the hands of the RSMoK, effectively making it another branch of the military and neutering its effectiveness.” The Spokesperson noted that if the militia is demobilized, it intends to focus on private shooting clubs that will spend their time “live fire cosplaying and LARPing” militia tactics on private property, and “drinking beer.” The loss of the Militia to Republican service threatens to deal a far more significant blow to the defensive capabilities of the Republic than the loss of the majority of the Officer Corps. “Well, given the Government’s fetishization of Baltusia,” said McCartney sardonically, “maybe they will ask Baltusia to guarantee Kalistani security. Let the Baltusuans bleed for the Republic since their policies are so well liked by this Government.”

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Long term Socialist Corruption in the Military Exposed

February 5065

It has been widely reported that a number of officers in the Kalistani military have resigned after long term corruption has been exposed. For 45 years the Armed Forces were provided with 13% of total Kalistani GDP, and yet with this money a small force of 95,000 active and reserve regular force personnel was maintained by previous governments. Although a number of defence purchases were completed during the four decades, this represents a poor return on the almost trillion roubles invested in the military every single year. The Socialist Party employed a militia of 1.4 million Partisans during this time, although it is more likely that the taxpayer funding the Socialist Party “employment” of this individuals. Although many officers, including members of the Socialist Regular Officers’ Association, have claimed this is as a result of “radical reorganisation”, it is more likely that many serving personnel are concerned that corruption will be exposed and have jumped before corruption investigations could be completed.



Burt Burret deliverered a key speech in Kaliburg

The Minister of Defence Bert Burret added the following;

For too long the military of this country has been run as an adjunct to the Socialist Party. This country cannot function as a one party dictatorship and must move to professionalise its armed forces. The long term corruption that has been exposed by the finance ministry is an example of what happens when one political party becomes too dominant and uses the levers of power to cement its control of society. We need to move this country forwards so that it can function according to true Republican principles in which the military is politically neutral and not aligned to a single party. At a time of increased scrutiny in the role of the military in our society and greater holding to account of government spending, including a reduction in defence expenditure, it is questionable that the opposition would accuse the government of wanting to start wars. It is absolutely insane that Kalistan maintained one of the largest defence budgets in Terra for decades, while simultaneously maintaining one of the smallest armed forces in Terra.

he Defence Minister discussed that the bloated defence budget will continue to be tripped down through the rest of the decade if the current government remains in power and increasing efforts will be made to professionalise the armed forces.

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Kalistan aims to go big in livestock

March 5065

Did you know that until November 5064 it was forbidden to kill animals in Kalistan? Although fishing remained legal, the domestic killing of livestock had been illegal for a number of years, although meat was a popular import. But the government, with a nod to its support base in rural areas, passed legislation that was even supported by the Socialist Party. This will potentially open up new job opportunities and will lead to a renewal of the use of more marginal land in hillier and mountainous areas of the country that can now be used for grass reared cattle and sheep. This will also have the added benefit of cutting down on the costly and environmentally unfriendly importing of freezer ships containing meat from all over Terra.



Within a few years much of this meat counter will contain Kalistani produce

Government financial support

The Kalistan Party also announced a further 30 Billion Kalistan Roubles for Agriculture in its budget passed in January 5065, with the Agriculture Minister Julia Peters stating that this was to assist the transformation of Kalistani agriculture. Although the dairy industry had remained, now cattle, sheep and pigs can all be reared once more. The Kalistani government also amended laws on farm sizes which has encouraged foreign investment and migration from nations with important agricultural sectors such as Mordusia and Baltusia. The subject matter expertise will come in useful in Kalistan where agriculture has typically been geared towards the production of cereals and crops associated with the Kalistani drug industry.



Encouragement of sheep farming has led to Eliza Daily migrating from Mordusia with her Mordusian white sheep

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Socialist Party acknowledges charges of corruption
Agrees to Internal investigation
Kaliburg, Ananto
March 18, 5065


Party Speaker Diego Perry addresses the major Corruption Scandal before angry Socialist Deputies at SP HQ in downtown Kaliburg yesterday

Serious charges have been leveled at not only Socialist Ministers but also numerous Officers from the Socialist Regular Officers' Association, a little known informal organization of Socialist Officers in the Kalistani Regular Forces, as well as the Socialist Militia. These charges, leveled by the Defense Minister Burt Burret, imply that the bloated defense budget was somehow being misued or siphoned off by officers and elements within the military that were affiliated with the Socialist Party. These charges have not been substantiated with evidence, but the scandal has reached such a pitch in the countryside that the Leader of the Socialist Party, former Premier Diego Perry was called by Socialist Deputies to answer these charges, and conduct an investigation within the Party.

Perry made the following statement to a caucus room filled with angry Socialist Party deputies:

"We flatly deny that the Socialist Party had anything to do with siphoning off nearly a trillion Rubles a year for forty five years. The Government has offered us no evidence whatsoever that the Party nor the Militia received a cent of that money. In addition, my office has compiled records and receipts of all militia-related transactions, and have entered them into the public record. Careful scrutiny of these records will reveal that the militia has been operating on a budget comprised entirely of Party Donations, and has not received a cent of public money from anywhere in the National Budget. We hope that these records, which include all dates, times and amounts, as well as all banking information and expense Ledgers, will clear the Militia of any wrong doing. We have submitted these records to the Finance Minister for investigation, and believe firmly that the militia will be entirely exonerated following their audit of our records.

"As for the more troubling aspect of the Minister's charges, that Regular Officers, specifically those affiliated with the Socialist Party of Kalistan were somehow involved in Corruption, let me just say this: There have indeed been some irregularities within the budget which lead Party leadership to conclude that an internal investigation is at least warranted. Whether this demonstrates that nothing at all occurred on the side of malfeasance, up to and including corruption and straight out misappropriation and theft of public funds, we are prepared to accept the results of this investigation and act on them, in cooperation with the Justice Minister to the fullest extent of the law. Let me reiterate: Corruption within the ranks of the Socialist Party will not be tolerated, and if there is any indication that Socialists who have enjoyed the public's trust have been corrupt, may God have mercy on them, because this Party will not."

The Party Leader's speech was met with a raucous response and shouted questions from Socialist Deputies. The Premier took only a few questions, citing that he would like to let this internal investigation speak for itself. "But yes," Perry added, "it will include a full accounting of all Party affiliated members up to and including myself. We are an open book and I think these charges demand address and transparency. If there is corruption here it is a blight not only on this Nation but also this Party, who has long prided itself on providing honest, if not always even handed government to this Republic. And if there is corruption to be found, I am prepared to demand the resignation of the entire Shadow Government and my own as well, because in that case we will all bear responsibility."

The news of the investigation flashed across the Republic as the scandal became public. "We hope to have this investigation completed before the next election," said the former Premier. IZQUIERDA was unable to reach members of the Socialist Regular Officers' Association for comment, but it is assumed they will make a statement in the coming days on the scandal.

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Liberal Fascists of Deth release Speak Vrassan or Die on KMI
Record prompts immediate backlash from Parental Groups
Kaliburg, Ananto
May 1, 5065


LFoD, the mock Thrash band from Eveari, release a record not to be taken seriously

The so-called "Demons of Hardcore", Liberal Fascists of Deth, have joined their Thrash Brethren in releasing the newest Speedpunk album to hit Kalistani charts. Called Speak Vrassan or Die some conservative parents have already blasted the record as "...vulgar, racist, and corrupting of the morals of their children" and calling for a boycott of KMI. The controversy surrounding the record seems to have sparked sales, however, with the record debuting at number 50 on the Hard Rock Chart.

"This record is so offensive," said one parent, Jill Allen of Gendaris, "There is actually a song on it called 'Kill Yourself'. What kind of sick group has a song like 'Kill Yourself' on a record?"

We asked Allen what she thought of the song that preceded "Kill Yourself" on the album, the song called "Cereal" which talks about how the lead singer, Johnny Gordo was hungry when he was a kid and went to the kitchen to find that his mother hadn't made it to the store the previous day and now he was upset that he was out of cereal, and Ms. Allen admitted "Well, you certainly don't expect me to LISTEN to that filth, do you?!" She said she heard about the song from her preacher.

The sentiments against Speak Vrassan or Die were similar around the country, as other parents were up in arms about the record. "I saw a kid walking down the street with that satanalic symbol on his shirt, and he had a skateboard. Who knows what other trouble he was getting himself into!" said Frederick Dugarde, of Sulari. "He probably just got done sacrificing some cats." The title, referring to the lead single, talks about how whenever the lead singer tries to call up to a call center to do some mundane task, or goes to a restaurant, he encounters foreign speakers in the restaurant who are asking him for his order in a foreign language, and he finally loses his patience.


LFoD's Speak Vrassan or Die is offensive by design

Songwriter and lead guitarist Guillermo Gillian said "Speak Vrassan or Die is based on this dream I had where I was stuck in a foreign country, and everyone was speaking a bunch of Gibberish to me in the dream. Like my mom was in it and she was speaking some sort of Dorvish nonsense to me... When I woke up I wrote that song. It's funny." Other songs talk about the over machismo of the Military ("Dethmarch of Captain Q") or an actually anti-racist song about Scene Unity ("United Blood") or a bombastic dare to mosh ("The Gordo Mosh")

"We're clearly making fun of how seriously these other bands take themselves," said Gordo. "Even Guilly's main band, Pneumonia. They are just so serious about what they are singing. This is all just a joke. None of it is supposed to be taken seriously. But, you know: If you're offended by it, maybe you should be. It's about time someone offended you. Maybe these idiot parents and their special ed kids ought to relax. Let little Johnny and Little Sally buy the record, sit down and listen and decide for themselves if music is offensive, or if the problem is just you, Mom and Dad."

It seems that Millions of kids are doing just that, Landing LFoD higher on the charts than any other Thrash Album has yet climbed. The Album is out now, and its lead single "Speak Vrassan or Die" is playing on Radio 1 in heavy Rotation.

[Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cuz3t3eUqVs]

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Vrassa City Football Team Clinch Inaugural Championship Title

May 5065

The final day of the first Kalistani Football Championship (KFC) has ended with Vrassa clinching the title by dint of a superior points scored against points conceded, after both Vrassa and Eshar finishes with twenty five wins in the 38 match season. At the start of the final round of games six teams had a chance of claiming the championship title, demonstrating the competitive nature of the league fostered by restrictions on maximum player salaries, transfers between clubs and a pre-season draft that fairly distributed emerging talent.



Vrassa Captain Giuseppe Mbeppe hold back his emotions after the final quarter finishes and Vrassa clinch the title.

KFC President Brett Gullivan presented the Championship trophy to the captain of the Vrassa team. After the presentation Brett Gullivan declared the first Championship “an absolute success”. Although ticket sales had been patchy for some of the franchises, he was looking forward to negotiating a mixed package of TV deals with domestic networks, and a possible offer for a foreign TV network to buy the rights to show some games. Revenues raised will be distributed to the different franchises to provide important revenue for those clubs that are seeking to begin building new stadiums. However, some teams had already discussed that they have cancelled plans to create new infrastructure, preferring to stick with shared stadiums with university sports teams.

First Arrests in Defence Corruption Probe

June 5065

After three months of investigations the Ministry of Justice have announced the first arrests of current and former military personnel following allegations of corruption. Although no senior officers are believe to have been involved, it has been reported that a number of officers involved in capability development, arms procurements and defence contracting have been caught up in the arrests.



Unarmed Police prepare to raid a suspects home.

The Justice Minister, Albrecht Harris, when asked for comment tersely briefed that “investigations were ongoing and enough evidence had been collated to indicate some serving and former members of the Kalistani Armed Forces may have broken the law”. When pushed for further details the Minister reminded journalists that it was a hallmark of Kalistani law that everyone was innocent until proven guilty and that further comment would jeopardise a fair trial in front of a jury.

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President of the Restorationist Church of Eliyahu and Latter Day Hosians Endorses Move of Church Headquarters to Kalistan

August 5065

After a month-long Conference of the leadership of the Restorationist Church of Eliyahu and Latter Day Hosians (often referred to as just Latter Day Hosians (LDH)), the President of the governing body has signed off on a proposal to relocate the Headquarters of the Church from Ralston in Baltusia to Vrassa in Kalistan. This follows a miraculous vision experienced by a member of the LDH in 5062 in which she saw Eliyahu returning to Terra in the city of Vrassa, precipitating a thousand year reign of Eliyahu on earth. President Thomas Wainwright has been the senior member of the Latter Day Hosians for fifteen years and the 95 year old is a highly influential figure. Under the terms of the resolution the Church will aim to relocate much of its leadership to Kalistan, encourage the use of its significant investment portfolio to invest in Kalistan, and encourage communicants to make the spiritual migration.



President Wainwright after signing the resolution to move the HQ of the Church to Kalistan

Latter Day Hosianism in Baltusia

Latter Day Hosianism has historically been centred in Baltusia, and estimates are that the Church has between 1.5-2 million members in the country. The Church was founded by Absalom Wilson in the 4730's in Baltusia following a visitation by the Angel Zophiel and Latter Day Hosians use both the Hosian Bible and Book of Zophiel (hence why the Church is often referred to as the Zophiel Churc). The Church often faced discrimination, being treated as a cult through the 4800’s and despite a legalisation of polygamy of 4908, it was subsequently banned later in the century, a ban that has remained in effect ever since. Latter Day Hosians were prominent in the historic Republican Party which dominated Baltusian politics through the 4900’s, even electing the Latter Day Hosian James Adams to the Presidency in 4920, who was the first President in Baltusian history to have two First Ladies.

LDH Move to Kalistan

Critics of the Church have suggested that motivations other than “visions” are behind the move. It has been commented that the recent legalisation of polygamy, and the opening of agricultural opportunities in Kalistan have also led to a number of LDH investments in land, particularly in western Kalistani regions bordering Baltusia. The LDH community in Baltusia has historically been associated with agriculture, with many members historically living in geographically concentrated numbers, sharing land and tools. Although a cultural census has not been completed in Kalistan for a while, with Kalistans open borders and the presence of the LDH across the border in Baltusia it has been estimated that there may already be anywhere between 100-200,000 members of the LDH spread across the country. It is not known how many Latter Day Hosians might migrate to Kalistani in the future, but the Church already has four adherents within the governing Kalistan Party, and these members have influenced policies favourable to the Church including previously mentioned legalisation and recognition of polygamy.

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Internal Investigation reveals gross corruption among Socialist Officers
Party Leadership resigns in Disgrace
Kaliburg Ananto
October 17, 5065


Interim Party Leader Annie Bjorksdattir addresses SP Internal Investigation results

Interim Party Leader Annie Bjorksdattir, SP Deputy from Luxon, released the findings of the SP's internal investigation into the corruption allegations. They confirm the findings of the Defense Ministry, and implicate a number of high ranking Regular Military Officers.

"The Party has agreed to cooperate with the Government in bringing these thieves to justice," said Bjorksdattir. "We are not at liberty to name names during the ongoing investigation, but once the charges become public, of course, the defendants will be named. Our investigation, however, reveals that the culprits are almost entirely associated with the Socialist Regular Officers' Association. There is evidence to suggest that this organization was a slush fund for the implicated members. Officers allegedly moved the money to offshore accounts where they owned homes, boats, cars and etc across the globe. The sum stolen by this group exceeds 300 billion Rubles last year alone."

Along with the revelations Bjorksdattir announced the resignation of the entire Socialist Party Leadership in the Deputy, to include former Premier Diego Perry. "We do not have evidence that Comrade Perry was involved in the corruption. But he has acknowledged that the Party Leadership and the former Government had failed to prevent the corruption and has taken responsibility. We have accepted the Comrades' resignations, and the Party has installed an interim leadership team to take us through the upcoming elections."

The Party has agreed to cooperate in all ongoign investigations, and will focus on preparing for the elections.

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Annie Bjorksdattir becomes New Party Speaker
Young leader hopes to return Party to Majority
Kaliburg Ananto
October 1, 5067


Annie Bjorksdattir of Luxon becomes Speaker of the Minority

Confirmed in her interim leadership position by acclaimation of the recent Annual Party Congress in Kaliburg, Luxon Deputy Agnethe "Annie" Bjorksdattir assumed the full time role of Socialist Party Speaker and Speaker of the Minority in the National Assembly. Bjorksdattir has been serving in this capacity for just over two years following the dramatic scandal that led to the incarceration of fourteen highranking officers and more than two dozen lower ranking officers for fraud, embezzlement, racketeering and betrayal of the Public Trust in the Socialist Officers Association scandal. The military fallout is not entirely resolved, but for the most part, due to the tenacity of the work between SP leadership and Defense Ministry investigators, more than 82 percent of the stolen funds have been returned to the treasury, and the remaining is due in restitution.

Bjorksdattir is a distant descendant of President Elga Bjorksdattir, who served as the President of the Republic and for whom Port Elga in Sulari is named. The current Bjorksdattir, 27, is a law student in Kaliburg, and is a member of the Ananto Yearly Meeting of Brethren. She is married to a fabricator who works at the National Ship Yards in Kaliburg, and has been a member of the Socialist Party of Kalistan since she was a teenager. She previously served as chairwoman for the Kaliburg Young Socialist League before being elected to represent Luxon in the 5063 elections. She was tapped to serve as Interim Leader in 5067 due to her high recommendations from the Ananto Socialist Party, and her lack of ties to the Republican Regular Military or Party Leadership.

Following her Interim appointment, Bjorksdattir hastily put together a new leadership team to replace the previous shadow government who were all forced to resign due to the scandal. The new shadow government consists of young deputies from across the Government, all but the Defense Shadow Minister and the Finance Shadow Minister who are Brethrenist. The return of the Brethrenists to Party domination was also a response to the pugilistic and corrupted nature of the Party previous to Bjorksdattir's appointment.

Bjorksdattir is in line to become Premier, should the Socialists ever regain the Majority. She stated in one of her rare public appearances that this is precisely what she intends to do: The country is a socialist Nation, Bjorksdattir said. She intends for Socialists to govern it.

We look forward to the promising career of Comrade Bjorksdattir.