Kalistani Major History

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منارة الرياح الموسمية
Manarat Alriyah Almawsimia
(If it’s in the Monsoon, it’s got to be true)

MINERAL EVALUATION TEAM GOING TO KALISTAN

Al-Kasraj, January 23, 5288: Moqtada al-Makhtoum, Minister of Science and Technology, is sending a team of mineralogists to Kalistan to look at bauxite ore at a primary mining site with a view to possible metallurgy cooperation on projects in the future. This visit is furthering the agreement between the incoming Socialist Government of Kalistan and our Foreign Office to take a look at bauxite ore quality.

The site selected is the one discovered by the Neveras District University team back in January of 4770 for exploitation as a source of aluminum by Neveras Ferromineral Mining Corporation and the Ministry of Trade and Industry of Kalistan. There is a lot of bauxite ore there with a high aluminum content.

The examination is believed to be to determine whether the crystalline form of aluminum oxide is in the ore or in the alternative, whether there is sufficient alumina making material present to artificially construct corundum.

http://forum.particracy.net/viewtopic.ph...ng#p158981

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Following Decades of AutoPilot Government, Republic aims to tackle Urban Blight
Renewal Measures to be promoted by the Minister of Internal Affairs
Kaliburg, Ananto
February 8, 5316


Much of the Republic's centuries old Housing Stock is due for renewal

The Republican Government today announced its first new initiative following the restoration of the Republic. Titled "New Homes for a New People," the Government is responding to increasing complaints about the quality of the Nation's aging housing stock.

"The Capital has not really had an upgrade since the Kaliburg Earthquake," said outgoing Interior Minister Bradley Yeardly. "It is time we finally devote money to addressing the issue--not just in repairing old houses but also in demolishing the ones which are not inhabitable, and beginning to rebuild new ones according to new methods and energy mindedness."

Over the next 6 months, a sector of the National Service Program will be redirected to becoming housing inspectors. "We have already created a new curriculum for the training," said Yeardley, "based on best practices in the housing inspection industry. We want to evaluate the quality of our nation's housing, as well as the feasibility of saving them versus rebuilding them."

The Minister pointed specifically to the poor quality housing in the Lolla District of Kaliburg, as well as the San Fernando district in Sulari. "These two neighborhoods have experienced decades of blight, as the role of the National Government was rolled back to almost nothing and people were left to fend for themselves. In addition to illegal sales and faked inspection reports, the utter dilapidation of about 35% of the homes in these two neighborhoods is driving a growing movement against the blight. We as a National Government can and should address this."

The current Government is expected to transition within the next few years and Yeardley aims to leave the incoming minister with a project that is underway. "This is a concern of ours and is something that our Government can do now to help the lives of our citizens directly. We start today!"

The evaluation of housing in the Republic is expected to take a year, and then reconstruction will be prioritized by areas where it will have most effect first. Major cities like Kaliburg, Sulari and Port Swedes are expected to see the most attention at the start, because there the situation is most dire.

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Last Emperor has Died at Age 96
William I Ananto, deposed 17 years ago, to be buried in Eveari
Kaliburg, Ananto
February 25, 5316

The Last Emperor of the Empire of Ananto and Kalistan, William of Ananto, has died, Imperial House spokesmen report. The Emperor died in his sleep, and it is said that his death was brought on by complications due to dementia.

William's reign was largely without incident, and the Monarch oversaw a devolution of power. He was largely supported by the Institutionalist Party, but when they went defunct, and the Socialist Party of Kalistan was reformed, votes were taken in the National Assembly to strip the Monarchy of its powers, abolish noble title to land, and reorganize the nation administratively. Following the Emperor's overthrow, he was allowed to go into internal exile here in Ananto, and while not under house arrest, his deteriorating health caused him to remain at his family's home in Eveari for most of the last decade and a half. He did travel abroad numerous times to visit his wife's family in Lourenne, but trips grew shorter and less numerous over the last 5 years. Tabloids reported that he had been suffering from dementia for much of this time.

He is survived by the Empress Rivière who is allowed to retain her title until death, and who has asked for privacy as the family mourns the now deceased Emperor. Rivière is expected to split her time following William's internment between Ananto and Lourenne, and intends the turn the Imperial Family's house into a museum dedicated to the history of Eveari.

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Reynoldia National Speedway opens to Public
Kalistan officially joins the F1 League
Reynoldia, Suldanor
July 1, 5316


Reynoldia National allows Kalistan to compete in International Formula 1 competition

Kalistan has, for the first time, joined the International Formula 1 Championship tournament with the opening of Reynoldia National Circuit just outside of Reynoldia Suldanor. In addition, MoCo has sponsored a team and has begun designing and testing engines and chasses in preparation for the release of the specs of the formula.

"We welcome everyone to the National Circuit," said MoCo spokeswoman Jill Thomas-Verte. "This raceway hearkens back to Kalistan's long celebration of motor sport, and looks forward to increased friendly competition with the world. MoCo is already testing designs that could compete successfully against the best designs in the world, and we believe we have selected two individuals for the MoCo team that are among the best drivers in the Republic: Bradley Howell and Kelsey Schmidt. Both drivers finished first in an arduous and demanding technical battery on tracks and closed city circuits across Kalistan, and we are proud to welcome them officially to our Team."

The first MoCo formula one car, dubbed simply MoCo 1 has been driving pre-qual runs on the Reynoldia Track since May. It weighs 1840 pounds fully fueled, uses a 1.6 liter turbocharged V6 gas engine and has a semiautomatic transmission with 8 forward gears which can be shifted from the steering wheel. It accelerates from 0-100 in 3.2 seconds. Maximum speed is 179mph.

"Driving that car is like strapping onto a rocket engine," said Schmidt. "It's such a rush!"

Fans have already been treated to several exhibition races in Reynoldia. The features have been the Formula 1 cars, but most of the races have been stock cars and street modified cars. "The Reynoldia track is kind of dangerous," said Howell-Brown of the MoCo team. "There is a long straigh away that goes down hill between turns 8 and 9 coming into the line. So you want to maximize speed, but the temptation to go too fast around that curve needs to be kept in check. I think this is the discipline we will be working on with the team so that we don't end up in the wall." A number of other hairpin turns also serve to make the race exciting and challenging. "Turns 6 and 8 are challenging but there is a little dogleg in them to kind of get within the steering ratio at higher speeds," said Schmidt. "But 7 is a monster, a 180 degree turn that separates the pros from the amateurs, that will be the difference in the final miles between being in the lead and being in the wall."

Fans can come to the National Circuit Wednesdays, Fridays and Saturdays throughout the season, while the adjacent Reynoldia Derby has re-started regular demolition derby Mondays, Tuesdays and Thursdays. During the day, the MoCo team will be practicing and using their runs to help MoCo fine tune their automobiles.

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ODEN-K to rehab Cannabis operations in Dahriel
Dormant farms are reoccupied by Growers Union
Dahriel, Ananto
August 19, 5216


Jacobs' Greens opens in Dahriel as ODEN seeks to expand Cannabis production in Kalistan

Farmers in the All Kalistani Growers Union praised the news of new ODEN initiatives to encourage the production of cannabis, coca and opium in Kalistan last week. ODEN-K wants to put several millions Rubles into rehabilitating land that has long been left fallow by nearly 200 years of Institutionalist Rule.

"Under the Institutionalist Period, drug production was not a high priority," said new ODEN-K Director Jerome Jimenez. "As a result, much of the land we had under regular cultivation in previous eras had gone fallow. While it did help in allowing the land to regain some of its productive capabilities, we would like to kick production back up to former levels to begin exporting once more."

Recreational drug use has long been legal in Kalistan, but at no time in recent memory has usage been so low in the Republic. "We have noticed that short supplies, imports from other nations and just a general attitude of sobriety has driven up prices in Kalistan. Our goal is not specifically to get Kalistanis to return to the drug fueled hedonism of past days, but we cannot deny that supplying drugs internationally is a fabulous source of income for Kalistan. It has traditionally been one of the pillars of our export led strategy, and can be the cornerstone of a new effort to revitalize the Republic."

To put this plan into action, ODEN-K has begun working with the Growers Unions across the Republic to offer those who want to start up farms grants for supplies, machinery and land. "Additionally, we are organizing soil drives for farmers who want to attempt to rehabilitate their soil," said Jimenez". "We are working with municipalities and Districts to encourage composting and then to provide that composted material to local farmers who seek to begin growing organic drugs."

ODEN-K's director admitted that the effort would be fairly massive. "We had a rhythm before that was thousands of years old. Abandoning those crops in favor or either foodstuff production for export or just abandonment means we have to not only start many of our farms from scratch, chopping trees that have grown in former fields, and more or less reclearing the land, but also we need to retrain our farmers to grow these crops. That knowledge was, in many senses lost, and needs to be re-inculcated once more."

Ananto will serve as the testing ground for new ODEN operations, and following success on the Island, the programs will be expanded throughout the Republic. Director Jimenez thinks ODEN will be fully operational once more within 10 years. "With enough local investment and participation," he clarified. "It could all go south. But we are hoping it doesn't."

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Kalistani Regular Forces look to reorganize, Partner with Saridan
Newly reorganized Field Units begin training at Bozo River
Kaliburg, Ananto
January 5, 5317


Artillery Units of the 1st Division fire in the first combined arms exercise under new Reorganization Plan

Long the dream of many a Kalistani Politician, military reorganization and modernization has always remained just out of reach. Generation after generation of the Kalistani Regular Force has had to make due with budget freezes, antiquated equipment and improvisation. While this has given the Military a certain characteristic of flexibility and grit, it certainly doesn't do much for the combat readiness of Kalistan's Regular Force.

Now it seems that the new Socialist Government has decided to go ahead and attempt the Quixotic Dream once more, as they order another round of defense modernization. "Our problem is that we must rely on foreign suppliers for the most modern equipment," said General Ulysses Conrad of the First Division Kalistani Regulars. "Try as we might we are only able to produce weapons that we have developed here in Kalistan, namely artillery and small arms and some aircraft and capital ships, but weapons modernization in other nations, nations who have traditionally flexed their might in the past, has dramatically outpaced Kalistani production, and meanwhile, we have been denied technology which would put us at parity with even some local powers."

Rifle Company 3/1 of the First Division, supported by artillery, regroups for another counter offensive in training at Bozo River

But the Republican Government aims to rectify that. "Not in terms of production," said General Conrad. "But in terms of attitude. We go to war with the army we have. And our strategic doctrine of homeland defense will allow us to focus on mobility, rather than overwhelming technological advantage. Our edge is our knowledge of our terrain and the support of the people."

Kalistan has recently announced interest in working with the Government of Saridan as they work to modernize their military. "Saridan is a new partner," said Military spokesman Jeffery Miller. " In many ways, they are in the same boat as we are. But I figure we can learn from one another and enjoy the mutual benefit of building tactics and strategy against a Nation which is hopefully interested in also learning from us." Miller noted that the Foreign Ministry is currently drafting up a treaty which will allow free usage of training areas within Kalistan and in the Ananto Strait for wargames, drills and so forth, so long as Kalistan is also a participant. "Hopefully this tactical and strategic partnership will expand to more nations who are also interested in working with us to rebuild and modernize their militaries, to develop new tactical plans and to try them out against one another."

The cooperation treaty is expected to be forwarded to ratification early this year. Meanwhile, newly reformed units of the artillery, tanks and infantry units of the various divisions of the Regular Military have received a new stock of weaponry, updated uniforms, and training orders that will take them through the year. Air and sea refitting is expected to last into next year, when naval and air drills will be incorporated into the wargames of the Regular Army.

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Sulari Bombast returns to the Radio with new album from the Queens of Surf
S/T debut restores distortion to front and center place in Republic
Sulari, Suldanor
February 20, 5317


The Sulari sometime 4-Piece Queens of Surf release a debut album that Rocks

With the return of the Socialist Party to Government and rumors of a new FOMAT swirling around the aether, we knew it wouldn't be long before loud music began resurfacing in Kalistan. This time the standard is being carried forward by the Sulari trio Queens of Surf. Led by singer Heather Wurzel, who also plays lead guitar, and joined by Dianne Niederbaum who plays rhythm Bass and drummer Todd Vanderberg on drums, the band has blasted through the underground rock clubs in Kalistan's second city right into ARC recording studios and on to KRTVN's Radio 1. The trio, whose collective age averages 21 also regularly feature Niederbaum's sister Kathy, who plays fiddle for the group on songs where they require a more classical touch, but who is finishing her enlistment in the National Service Program.

With lead single "Ye Olde Bastard" breaking into the Top 10 this week after only 6 weeks on the Charts, Queens of Surf have earned the Heatseeker Award for the month and have suddenly become a highly sought after band. "We started out as a bunch of girls writing punk rock songs about our boyfriends," said Wurzel, age 20. "It was either this or college," she said "and I wasn't going to be able to follow my passion in college, so I chose music." Niederbaum, 24, concurred "I did my stint in the NSP, and then when I got out, H was like 'Let's Jam!' and we started writing songs about cute boys and dudes who broke our hearts." Vanderberg, 19 was asked about his part in the songwriting process, and responded, "I don't know. They sing whatever they sing about. I just play the drums."

The record is expected to take the group to number one both on the album and the singles chart. "The label put a lot of money behind this record," said Wurzel. "Like in a way that they haven't for a long time."

"But we sound different from most bands, who are playing some tired old psychedelic stuff that sounds stale," said Niederbaum. "We don't use a lot of fuzz. That's all distortion you hear there. That and the harmonics. I love distorted bass and guitar feedback and that's what we play." They also play some soft music too, though, including a four piece string chamber instrumental that hearkens back to classical music roots. "We were all trained in the classics," said Wurzel. "But sometimes girls just like to rock."

Take a listen to Queens of Surf's Single "Ye Olde Bastard" from their Self Titled Debut record on ARC!

[Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=glDFPjrolx0]

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Kaliburg Noise Rockers Codeine join loud rock movement
KMI fires back following Queens of Surf success
Kaliburg, Ananto
August 5, 5317


Codeine takes noise levels up a few decibels with Debut "Teenage Rebellion"

Four piece alternative band Codeine launched their debut album "Teenage Rebellion" last week and it is already making moves on the charts, joining Queens of Surf in the Top 20, and threatening to move past them on the way up the charts. The first single from their first album for KMI is called "Teenage Rebellion" and it features a minute and a half long intro jam with whispered vocals supplied by bassist Kim Caffee. The rest of the band plays a sort of rock that hearkens more to jazz than to the blues, and then after a false start, the real song kicks in with overdriven guitars, frantic polyrhythmic drums and driving bassline that keeps the hard rock song chugging right up the charts.

"We like the noisiness of what we can do with these instruments," said lead singer and primary song writer Dwayne Martin. "I can't tell you how many guitars I went through making this music. And a lot of it sounds quite frenetic, but you know, it gives the kids something to jump around to and act like idiots. And quite frankly, there is nothing like the sound of the the stacks just on the edge of blowing out."

The record, which has been described by some as "noise rock" and others as "avante gard" is nonetheless a solid rock and roll record for the people. "Lots of the people who come to our show," said Caffee, "like we get skaters, these pretty girls with barretts in their hair and then like spiked wrist things who like to mix it up in the mosh pit, and these surfers are really into the show. And math nerds for some reason. Like I don't really get that."

"Haha," added Martin, "The nerds really gravitate toward Kimmy. Like they never seen a blonde play bass before."

Codeine started playing Ananto clubs a few years ago and were originally dropped by Vrassa because they wouldn't move out of Ananto: "Some bulls--t about how they didn't want to sign another Kaliburg club band who never wanted to record an album in Vrassa City..." said Martin. "Like we were snobs or whatever, when really we went on tour, and couldn't get a lot of support from the label so we sort of went on strike." The group's agent, Max Vicker, negotiated their departure from their contract at VDR and immediately began putting together a deal with Kalistan's biggest label, KMI to bring them in. "KMI don't pay a lot but distribution is everything. We aren't in competition with any Sulari bands, for sure. But getting our records in Sulari will be a good start. And Yoshimi and Gendaris and Swedeport, and everywhere else... Whatever, we like to jam and more records means more kids know us."

More kids indeed know Codeine. Their debut single was the most requested song on KRTVN's M7 all request afternoon show "Week in Demand" this week, and played in heavy rotation throughout the week. Codeine even stopped by to say hello to fans and give a short interview as they promoted their single.

The single Teenage Rebellion currently sits at number 18 on the Weekly Hot 100 Single Poll, right behind Queen of Surf's third single "Gratis". You can check out the new Single from Codeine's debut Album "Teenage Rebellion" on KMI here!

[Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tPytYrYqDbA]

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Noise Alt Revolution deepens as more bands come out of the underground
Volume sharply divides music lovers in the Republic
Sulari, Suldanor
October 8, 5317


Yoshimi's gritty Noise act G-d D-mn-d M-th-F-ck-rs melt brains at recent Sulari Concert

Kalistan's Music industry is roaring back from a century of pop and soft rock which dominated the airwaves in the last part of the Imperial Era as the Major labels are in bidding wars over the next loudest Undergound Noise Alternative band. In this instance, we see the band which is hands down the loudest act to come out of this movement, Yoshimi's G-d D-mn-d M-th- F-ck-rs. The Five piece act, led by sisters Geraldine and Donna Gousard, on Rhythm Guitar/Vocals and Viola respectively, blasted forth with Headset full of guitar feedback, full cymbal crashes and distortion that sounds like they are in the process of electrocuting their guitars.

"We were listening to these p-ss--s from Sulari and thought, 'man, we've been blowing out amplifiers for like 5 years. They sound like Sunday School," said Geraldine Gousard. "Anything these m-th-r f-ck-rs can do we've already done louder!" And they now have their chance to prove it: Their debut album "Live, From a Rocket Engine," hits stores this week. Early previews, including their first single "Learning to Fly" suggests that they indeed have the chops to back up their braggadocio.

"I heard 'Learning to Fly' on M7 last week," said Sulari teen Jennie Gomez. "It really was quite loud. I mean, you wouldn't even be able to hear her singing, if she wasn't all gritty and basically yelling at full power right along with the band." Britney Hermann, Gomez' friend, also offered comment, "My mother tells me to turn my music down. Like I was blasting this on the stereo, and mom was like 'Can you turn that garbage off?! It's too loud!' And I was like No way Mom, you don't even understand!"

The emergence of the movement being dubbed Noise Alternative, which began with Queen of Surf is indeed dividing music lovers in Kalistan. Most record buyers still prefer softer, more melodic music like the Compact Club, or acapella groups like Reynoldia Trio. The top bands on the Hot 100 Charts are still mainly acoustic or acapella groups, who are singing the music which has been popular for a generation in Kalistan. If you ask anyone over 25 what they think of Noise Alternative, most of them will say it is far too loud. "I like more mellow music," said Eshar native Hank Jerome, age 26. "Like you know, the kind you and and your sweetheart can pour a glass of wine to and maybe smoke a cigar to." Meanwhile kids, who have generally embraced Noise Alternative do so because they reject the "Yuppie, upper middle class sensibilities of bourgeois assholes who are destroying anything and everything good about Kalistani Culture with their white bread, boring ass vanilla bullsh-t." in the words of 13 year old Robert Henderson, of Dulnerstaad. "My mother puts that garbage on when she picks up my brother from soccer practice and it just makes me want to kill myself," said Henerson. "Imagine how I feel when I hear a band like G-d D-mn-d M-th- F-ck-rs. Like there is hope."

The Noise Alternative scene is also largely led by female fronted, mixed gender bands. "This is Kalistan," said Louise "Lou" Albertson. "Like that crap most people listen to is like whiny dudes crying about their little girl friends. Give me a break."

While G-d D-mn-d M-th- F-ck-rs may be just another front in the youth-led war against "bland", they appear to be just another example of a shift in attitude in Kalistan, and another piece of evidence of a revival of Kalistani culture. "Yes, our culture has been dormant for like hundreds of years," said Bruce Pepper, age 45. "We kind of like it that way. Smooth, predictable. I hear stories of the past, where people who habitually smoked marijuana or did hallucinogenic drugs had orgies in public while loud music played at massive three day long bachanalias. And for me and my family, I say No Sirree! Not for me. These kids these days... they'll grow out of it."

M7, for its part, doesn't seem to agree. Yesterday, on air Video Announcer Blake Ignacio actually read the hate mail M7 has gotten at an alarmingly increasing rate over the last year: "You people are playing that loud music. Stop." or "Why don't you people put some decent artists on with some class." or "Do you know what my son did? He went out and bought an amplifier. AN AMPLIFIER!" or "Kalistan is going down the toilet and it is M7's fault." For his part, Ignacio simply shrugged and announced the next video, Queens of Surf's new single "Christian" which is a song about a girl who loses her sexually confused boyfriend to a dude. It had predictably lots and lots of distortion.

You can check out G-d D-mn-d M-th- F-ck-rs on M7 and listen to their new single "Learning to Fly" right here!

[Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-xXfgkqpI0]

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Queens of Surf selected to represent Kalistan at FOMAT XX
International Music selection aimed at the sweet spot between "Music Kalistanis Like" and "Music international Voters will Actually listen to"
Kaliburg, Ananto
January 7, 5318


Kalistan's FOMAT XX reps Queens of Surf, at the sold out New Years Eve show in their hometown of Sulari

Queens of Surf have been announced as Kalistani Representatives to the restored FOMAT contest to be held in the Luthori Empire next year. Radio 1 listeners selected Queens of Surf by a narrow margin beating out groups like "The 4 Sophomores" who recently sang the retro sockhop hit "Bobby Socks and Bubblegum" as well as two acapella groups "The MoCo Classics" and Eveari's "Imperials", as well as the girl group "Barbies" who entered "He's my Boyfriend". The Queens of Surf was the only rock and roll song as well as the only Noise Alternative song, and took home a bare plurality of votes for the win. Combined, the 4 losing songs totaled 72% of the votes, but none on their own were popular enough to beat the Queens of Surf.

Radio 1 Listeners were outraged at the selection: "I mean, I could have voted for any one of the ones that lost," said Chip Donnelly. "Those songs were songs that my grandmother could have been proud of, and the rules that said we could vote for only one split the vote."

Kiki Fernandez had a different take on the totals. "Rock. They said they wanted a rock song. Any one of these rock songs, the 4 Sophomores, that was way more rocking than that... that Queens of Surf noise. What is more rockin than four nice clean cut boys snapping their fingers to some good solid four part harmony over an acoustic guitar?!"

Contrary to the outrage and disappointment among the adults, the kids were thrilled to have Queens of Surf be the representative. "This is so exciting," said 16 year old Grace Olverson. "I love them. I play them all the time. In my car, in my room, at school. Finally, we got some music which isn't this bland ass garbage that these yuppies that have over run this country enjoy." A slightly older Jemaine Jones agreed with Olverson. "There's just something that speaks to me when I hear a distorted guitar feeding back through an amplifier. It gives me goosebumps and puts a smile on my face."

College student Poppy Anderson expressed more nuance about the selection. "Personally, I voted for Queens of Surf, because I think their music, especially this single, not only appeals to what is hot and fresh in Kalistan at the moment, something our kids can get behind, but also pays attention to what international voters might also like. I'm glad that ARC picked this track instead of the other new one that came out recently from that guy Bonzo doing a duet with the Queens of Surf. That is more dissonant. When Kalistan has focused on melody and energy, international music fans respond. When we send louder, or more esoteric stuff, International fans reject it. So this is a pretty melodic song, even if it is loud, and the girls in the band are knockouts too. I think they will represent our country well."

Whatever the division, Queens of Surf have won the right to represent the Republic in the proud tradition of music competition. A win here would certainly cement them and the Noise Alternative Movement in Kalistan History, but a loss, especially a bad one would vindicate older listeners who have been saying that Noise Alternative is a fad and that the music scene should be dominated by people wearing conservative clothing, crew cuts and dress slacks to their gigs. We shall see who is right, at least from an international perspective, in the coming months, and will hear more from Queens of Surf later this year as they release their new album "Girl Crush" on ARC.

You can hear Kalistan's entry, which is ironically titled "Likatonia" and was released as a single for consideration for the contest about three months ahead of their new LP, still in post-production here.

[Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xslUOzmDVjA]